I've had great success with the lapband. I do attend a practice in melbourne that is run by Prof. Paul O'Brien who is one of the band's pioneers.
Their aftercare plan and their dietary guidelines are simple. Eat 3 meals a day (small Snacks if you really are hungry), come in regularly for checkups, get fills on consultation with your doctor - and the schedule and amount differs for everyone - settle in for slow but steady loss and never accept vomiting, reflux, night coughing as normal. Eat a normal diet - from all food groups, dont eat sliders, no need to cut carbs, obsess over Protein or avoid the occasional treat. Exercise regularly.
Even thought that sounds simple, of course there are people who have the troubles you're experiencing. The band doesnt suit everyone and getting just the right restriction can be tricky - many people go back and forth from too tight to too loose and cant find just the right amount, I've even come close to having that sort of trouble myself since having my band unfilled totally for a big surgery, cant get the restriction I had, but I know I"m getting close to tight. So....... I know I have to work with what I have. The band takes a lot of work, if you let it it will help you eat the right things in the right portions but you are ALWAYS going to have to have self control to not overeat bad foods, which all too often go down very easily. If you expect it to literally stop you eating too much or eating the wrong things you are going to be very disappointed. It also doesnt result in very fast weight loss, its more slow and steady and it does require exercise as well as diet. It sounds to me like you'd be better off workign with the lesser restriction to the best of your ability and stop looking for the band to give you complete control. And if you cant do that, as many cant, this is a complex disease that has emotional and physical elements to it, then perhaps you might be able to look into a differnet surgery that might suit you and your issues better. The band does tend to work very well for lower BMI patients with eating habits not too out of control (which is what I was) and who are able to put in reasonably intense and regular exercise. This is not the situation many morbidly obese people find themselves in and the band is not always the right choice.