Hey friend, don't give up! Now is the time to make the next right choice. Take them one at a time. Its so easy to go to the familiar when times get tough, but remember. Insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results! It doesnt hurt the ex back you're hurting yourself. It only hurts you, and your hurting enough from all these outside sources.
You have been such an encouragement to me in previous post. Dont let a night of bad choices tear you down. You can do this! You are an overcomer! Look what you have already made it through in your life! SO what if the ex is out there ho'n himself to any desperate girl that comes along... You know YOU are worth more than that.
I dont know anything about it being too much for your stomach to hold, but I know its too much emotionally for you to hold on to, and pushing it down in your gut and shoving food on top doesnt make the feelings go away. (of course you already know this) So brew you a cup of hot tea, turn on some soft music, cry your eyes out and journal about how valuable YOU are and what YOU are doing right for yourself. Keep your focus, dont give up, forgive yourself, and start over.
I know i dont know you, but these are the things I have to tell myself on a regular basis. YOU are worth doing this for.
Kim