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I've settled in with my Isopure/Cranberry cocktail this morning to see if I can get a few thoughts down about what's been going on in (dun dun dun DAH)...The Battlefield of my Mind! Maybe you remember when you were a new parent and someone said, "Oh a baby changes everything." I do, I sort of was young and invincible, and so my response was a mental, "Duh." Of course, not even a week into child rearing and I was like, "Holy crap, this is hard! How do people do this?!! WAHHHH." Do you remember? Well this, THIS little sleeve of mine? It changes EVERYTHING--it truly is a game changer. Now, it's not bad...but change is not always easy (maybe NEVER for some of us certain personality types...you know who you are...). Maybe easy isn't the right word. Comfortable? Whatever, my point is it's not bad, but it's new and what makes it particularly uncomfortable is being at the bottom of this steep learning curve. Having head knowledge of how to change a poopy diaper is different than hands-on experience when you are getting the "full senses" tour. Don't get me wrong, I am all about having head knowledge and being as prepared as you can be. Doesn't mean I always am...and frankly, I have been known to leap without looking a time or two. I'm a cook. I'm a creator-cook. Cooking is what I do, so I have been cooking for my family since I was day 6 post-op. I've made Red Beans & Rice with Andouille Sausage, Arroz Con Pollo, Southwest Taco Chili, Salmon & Rice Pilaf, Beef Peppercorn Stirfry, Sweedish Meatballs... I mean, I like to cook! Now to some of you, that may seem like unecessary torture, but the truth is, I will always be cooking for my family, making lunches for my son's. Preparing delicious meals is what I take pleasure in doing. Now I just have to deal with not "tasting and partaking" like I did. But regardless of what we are exposed to, the fundamental truth to all of us is that we have an addiction (and I realize that not everyone here does...some have physical or chemical reasons for being overweight) but most of us do, and we have to cohabitate and live with our "poison". This isn't like removing all alcohol from our lives to avoid drinking. We still have to eat, period. I read a book some months ago written by the wife of a singer whose teenage son accident'y ran over their little 5 year old daughter. The book is entitled, Choosing to See, by Marybeth Chapman. I know it seems random, but sometimes concepts transcend topics. The books title has stuck with me...as much as the amazing story of healing and courage did. I am choosing to see. Choosing to see the truth of why I eat, why I have to stop, why it is OK to do this for me (this may be a foreign thought to some of you, but it seems to be a real stronghold for people of certain faiths), and that it really isn't just about me but about the impact I'm supposed to have on my loved ones. What I eat impacts others and it does matter. So I said all that to say, someone recently asked me if I still obsess about food. The answer is an unequivical YES. I'm not sure you heard me over there in Idaho, but YEEEESSSS. The motivation has somewhat changed...so I'll cut myself some slack. When you haven't chewed in 4 weeks, even gumming greek yogurt is almost euphoric. I am not overstating this fact. Eating half of a Ricotta Bake (by Shelly), is enough to make you cry. I did. I savored every little tiny miniscule particle that I put on my tongue...all the while knowing that this moment might lead to, gulp, constipation. What's changed is that I'm spending as much or more time on food now because I'm reading labels for a whole new sub-set of information. It's similar to WW with Fat/Fiber/Protein...and yet it's really all about the protein and the carbs. There is some mental gymnastics for hitting daily targets. It's not hard, it's just different. After some time, I expect to know quite a bit about a variety of foods...just as I use to know the point values of most of my favorites. Am I mourning the pleasure of snarfing? Yes. OK, if I tell you somthing, you have to promise it's just between us, ok? My son had McD's in the car (he's a brave boy...get's it from his mamma) and I asked him for a french fry. Just one. SHHHHHHHHH! Yes I did! And I ate it too!!!!!! And it was...G-0-0-D. And one was enough. My guilty pleasure was met and paid for and it was enough. Sure, I chewed it till it completely disolved in my mouth...and yes, I know that it could be a slippery slope....but I felt like I snarfed and it made my screaming mind shut-up. Seriously. I totally nipped my whiny mind in the bud by giving it a fry. It didn't bother me after that. I felt like a won. I certainly didn't feel deprived anymore and ultimately, I felt good about having just one! So, as I head into week 3...did I mention I hit that inevitable "STALL"? Yeah, the minute I introduced yogurt, cream of wheat, etc. I hit the stall. I knew it was coming and I also know that IT is not going to be a game changer for me. Mentally, I've won this battle because really, what the heck can I do? Haha Hopefully it's just a quick blip and I don't lose face on the bravado I'm feeling right now. As I was saying, as I head into week 3...I'm facing the constipation consideration: Not just having less frequent BM's, but actually feeling the urge to go but can't...so I'll increase my water, try to increase my activity a bit, add some fiber. Try to get my BP stabelized--which has dropped dramatically from 145/80 ish to about 95/70....I've had a reduction in meds so we're working on it. It's not just the 30 pounds, but it is the decrease in sodium, no doubt. So as you see...I'm not obsessing-free yet. I totally look forward to that day, but for now, I'll take things one salty slice at a time and try to keep things in perspective. Thanks for listening. May the Lord bless and keep you, Susan

I was getting ready to go out last night and my husband wasn't coming as he had to work. I was almost ready to go when he says "your not looking too bad at the moment, don't go picking up any strays". Then as he walked off he says " I need to start feeding you more". Thanks, I think!!

About a cup of food per meal. Sometimes a little more

Well, I just found out yesterday I'm pregnant (about 4 weeks now). Yay!

First you have to stop comparing yourself to "every" bandster. Men will almost always drop weight faster and quicker than women, there is no way to fix it. Second if you have lost 30 lbs in the first 3 months and you look at Bandster B and they have lost 50 in the same amount of time, don't immediately go "Ok I have failed, or I am doing something wrong." Enjoy that 30 lbs and congratulate yourself. Second do this little math formula. (lbs lost / starting weight) * 100 = The % of your total body weight you have lost. Now follow me in these 2 examples to see why this is important. In the example above Bandster A has lost 30 lbs, their starting weight was 250. Bandster B has lost 50 lbs, their starting weight was 425. Bandster A = 30/250= 0.12 * 100 = 12% of total body weight lost Bandster B = 50/425 = 0.1176 * 100 = 11.76% of total body weight lost. As you can see, yes they have lost almost 2x as many lbs, but still come in at less overall weight loss.

well once I am approved! I went to my eval yesterday and was given the opportunity to compare the AP and the realize band! There is definitely a difference! The Realize band is very soft and pliable ! Whereas the AP was more rigid and not pliable at all! Also the Realize band completely encircled the stomach (like there is no break once closed) and the balloon inside extends past the outside of the band so the plastic on the outside does not touch the stomach. Not to mention the Realize band is actually 18 mm wider than the AP which is said to give better restriction, even at the time of surgery without the fill. Also u can start out with larger fills in the Realize band. And according to research the avg. Realize band patient only need 4 fills for the first year and 2 for the next two yrs! Which to me is awesome because that means less money to be spent on fills, and hopefully finding the sweet spot sooner! My dr. gave me a whole book on the realize band that I just can't put down! I haven't even been on the site yet, but soon I will! LOL! Sorry I am rambling but I am so excited! If anyone as a ? I would be happy to answer if I can.

I am jealous!! I don't think this fill did a damn thing- I wish my doc was more aggressive with fills like yours! I mean come'on it's been 2 months-give a girl a break with the fills! I am going back in 2 weeks if things don't improve! They didn't even say anything about liquids but I know from last time I was on liquids for 24 hours. I hope corona lights count as liquids because I had 2 tonight! I still feel hungry too, but I barely ate anything today.