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Hello, I'm new to posting around here and just started lurking around the forums. My sugery is scheduled for June 28th! Yay! I'm weighing in right now at 437 lbs. My word! I'm so glad I am getting ready for this surgery. I hate that I have ate my way this big. I'll be updating in here and I'm looking forward to getting to know some of you. We all need support. Heather

Ok, here are my two cents on this topic... As a night LBT person and a day LBT person, I can relate to both sides of the story. I understand completely about some of the foul mouths in the room, and I will admit that occasionally I am one of them, but I'm not the only one, which means that many other people in the room are doing the same thing. If thats the topic of the room, I tend to talk about it as well. I also talk about my lap band and how wonderful it is to have it. I agree with Pamela about this, not only because she's my friend, but also because some people in this discussion has created drama and the room IS worst that high school. Some people feel that they need to tip toe their way around the chat room because they're scared to offend someone. If you would like to talk about the "after dark crew" offending some of the people in the room, well lets talk about how some of the people in the room has cursed out a few of the members in the past year (that I've been a member here) and those people are no longer on LBT. Those people that are no longer with LBT WERE my friends and the only way I can talk to them now is through facebook. Because this happened, I judged a few people in LBT for doing what they did but I never said anything because I do not like to create any problems. This "after dark" situation has stopped and we DID go to another room but apparently some other idiot decided to follow us and kick us out of that room as well when we were doing nothing wrong. Also, I would like to point out that I always help new members, regardless if it's night or day. A few of the new members came into the room during our after dark chat and complained how no one bothered to help them because they were too focused on "which puppy to buy the kids". This has happened many times with new members coming into the day time and no one paid attention to their question. I'm not here to create problems. I understand if some people had a problem with me doing my phone sex line on camera, and I have stopped. If someone wanted to watch me, they can private message me through the camera and I am more than happy to do it that way. I have respected people's opinions and judgement and I'm hoping you can do the same with mine. Thats all I'm asking for.

Just out of curiosity, is this topic just to see who sides with what or can something actually be done about the "adult room" option? Also if there is something that can be done, does that mean that absolutely nothing sexual or adult related can be spoken about in the main chat day or night time? If not then your just drawing attention to an already ridiculous bunch of drama. The whole thing feels like high school. It's very obvious that there are some very strong opinions on both sides and I'm not saying that either side is right or wrong however the cat scratching and name calling doesn't solve ANYTHING. I get it, it's not a perfect world and you're not always going to get what you want HOWEVER I know that each and every person that is involved in chat is mature enough to handle the situations privately. Being nasty and slanderous in chat in front of a new comer in my eyes is just as bad. I'm not trying to start anything I just wondered exactly what this is supposed to do. Just some more food for thought, when the chat room is empty at night and they see everyone else in the adult room is there going to be someone willing to take shifts just to help out these new comers? Don't get me wrong we are always more than willing to help whoever needs it I just don't want the easily offended to miss out on the help they need. Like you had said it is international.

I am a frequent user of the chat room and I have been known to talk 'garbage' from time to time. The moment I noticed it was making people leave or offending anyone I instantly stopped. I figured that everyone else would have the same respect. When I asked this specific group to stop there was very graphic retaliation and demeaning slander said. The second time it was being asked to stop, the same results. I think everyone has the right to the chat room but NO ONE should be forced to be subjected to some of the conversations that go on at ANY TIME OF DAY. I can almost promise Alex didnt make these rooms in order for an online orgy to happen. I know his intent was to provide a certain level of support by peers not only about lapaband, but for all aspects of life. I do not see how this topic is doing the room any good.

I would not tell her,I would let it be a surprise when she see you again you might be 40lbs lighter, now that will make you happy when everyone tells you how GOOD you look .GOOD LUCK YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!

I don't think that it's highly improbable for you to lose even more than 3 pounds in some weeks, especially the first few. I have lost more than 3 pounds some weeks (although some of it was likely Water and possibly even muscle, unfortunately), but my usual weight-loss is 2 pounds (in the first 6 months, it was only about 1-1.5 pounds). Remember that, for many people, restriction doesn't occur until 3 or 4 months in. Some people pick up the slack and go through bandster hell in the interim, while others, like me, eat more than 1 cup in the first few months and lose slower until restriction. As others mentioned, you might be disappointed when you fail to reach your goal or you might end up eating far too little at the expense of your health (malnutrition and muscle loss) and your metabolism. To byrdmen, your progress is really great (congratulations on losing 149 pounds!), but you can't quite compare your experience to Deidre. Aside from the fact that a person's weight-loss is dependent on their metabolism and other factors, there are two factors that make it easy for you to lose 3 pounds a week consistently over a year; you are male and you have 341 pounds to lose, according to your ticker. On average, most males lose weight much more rapidly than females, partly on account of higher muscle mass and the fact that females have evolved to retain fat more easily for reproductive function. Most importantly, people lose weight quicker if they have more weight to lose and they're farther from their ideal body weight. That's why you see people who weigh 800 pounds sometimes losing 25 pounds/week. That would be an impossible or highly unhealthy feat for someone who weighs 259 pounds and whose ideal weight might be about 110 pounds away. You could easily create a 2200 caloric deficit and lose 3-5 pounds/week, while still staying above the 1600 calorie a day guideline for males. If Deidre were to create a 2200 caloric deficit, she might be severely malnourished. If she weren't malnourished (if she was previously consuming 3000 calories and exercising), she'd still be eating a very strict diet in comparison (much lower than the 1200 calorie guideline for women), so it would not be an easy weight-loss. I eat about 900-1100 calories a day and I cannot lose 3 pounds a week consistently over a whole year. For people with less to lose, weight-loss slows down over the year since many are getting very near their ideal weight by one year.

Just remember, it doesn't matter how thin you are if you're still a complete douchebag.

Ok guys - I know I shouldn't chime in here because I'm a girl but I have to. I have three older brothers and well...I'm a girl, so I can help you a bit. (Just don't judge the fat girl, ok?) LOL! I have a lot of friends that are gorgeous - I work with one that is a total 10 and we always chat about guys since she's single and looking to mingle. I've been happily married for years, so I'm one of those girls that just likes to help a brother out. I really truly honestly (and I'm not making this up) think that you can have game as a bigger guy just as well as you can as a thinner guy. Here is why: Girls like guys who are funny, make them laugh and have some sort of charisma to them. Think about Kevin James. (King of Queens) He's not a small guy. But, you would not believe the really gorgeous women that I know who think he's totally hot. Reason why? He's funny, confident and has that "guy next door" charm. Girls love men who are attentive, who aren't trying too hard to impress, who aren't complete douchebags (and when I say that, oftentimes those stick-thin guys wearing their Ray Ban aviators walking like they are hot with their ascots - yea - these girls think they're total douchebags) Also - regarding your friend that you have the hots for. What is stopping you now? Is it YOU stopping you because you don't feel worthy, or is it her telling you that she doesn't like you for anything but a friend? Because if it's YOU thinking she might not be that into you, you could be wrong and she might be regardless of your size. She might love your personality and those are the type of chemical things that attract women to men. (I know - it's not a men to women thing - guys are much more visual, but I'm being completely honest here) Girls are just wired differently. Think about ugly, thin men, too. Ever see a totally ugly guy with a girl and think to yourself "what's he got?" Well, I'd say 9 times out of 10, it has to be some sort of personality trait that she ADORES. Sorry to jump in here and "girl it up" but I didn't want you guys beating yourself up over something that is probably not as accurate as it may appear. I've seen my gorgeous 10 friend talk to guys that were hot on the outside and she ended up thinking they were total jerks, whereas I have seen her go on a few dates with a guy that was average (and a big guy, probably 6'0, 300+ lbs) and she had WAY more fun and was way into him. Don't flame me. :thumbup: Ginger