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I have found myself feeling very unsure about a lot of things lately. My job, marriage, personal relationships, and my band have often been the center of my frustrations. I thank God every single day for having a good job to work at, but lately things are so over whelming with mess! I supervisor two departments with a total of 36 staff members, and they are all woman. Do I need to say any more! I hope this does not sound offensive to anyone, but woman are some of the most emotional creations God has created. They bring their personal issues with them to work ex. (sick kids, bills, relationship issues, and lord help me "their endless gossip"), and I have had enough of their endless nonsense. Every single day it seems to be one more endless issue with work related drama. I do understand it's all apart of my job but I am worn out daily with the constant counseling, investigating issues, and being a peace maker. For some reason, I initially thought my marriage would get better once I started to lose the weight. But honestly, our issues are not weight related and our communication break down continues to be broken. Yes, I do love my husband, and yes he is capable of being a great man. However, he continues to put himself before his family and he really don't see why I am always frustrated and upset by his choices and decisions. The poor communication breakdown makes things that much worst between us. We have been together for over 16 years, but I feel like I am living in a time zone because things often remain the same between us. I have often visited the question (do I go or stay.) We have a 5 year old son who adores his father and my 18 yr daughter who now has a 7 month old son adores him too. My grandbaby is very attached to my husband so I will be viewed as the bad person, because I try really hard not to involve the kids in our issues. Its several things that I have settled with for years that’s not okay with me any more. Am I being the unfair person? Several of my long time friendships have sort of drifted away due to the lack of communications we have. I often find myself so wrapped up in my family, church, and my job until it’s very little time in my day for anything else. So, slowly but surely my friendships have drifted away. I continue to have two close friends and I do make an effort t to nourish those relationships a lot more (as best as my free time will allow me to)! I am nearly 7 months post band and I make every effort daily to follow the rules of my band, but sometimes I really don’t workout like I should or would like to workout. I try to be as active as possible daily, but I still feel like I should be doing more when I read about other’s success. I do know and understand that every single person is totally different, but sometimes I do question if I am doing my best. I have posted some recent pictures but I really feel like my body and weight lost should be more advance than it is. Sometimes I feel so good about my progress and other days I continue to see that fat person staring back at me in the mirror. I really don’t know why I have been on an emotional roller coaster! For so many years I have always been the strong and supportive person for everyone around me, but sometimes I want and need someone to be those things for me. I do know that God will not put more on me than I can bear, therefore I will continue to lend on my faith and stop feeling sorry for poor (ME)! This post may have been more information than I needed to share, but I do feel so much better to get some of this stuff off of my chest. Thanks for the listening ears.