Leaderboard

Inspiration or Agitation I have always been a leader. Growing up, I could get people to do what I would NEVER even try! Influence is an amazing that gift. If channeled correctly, it is powerful. Well as the pounds fall off, I am realizing that all my skinny friends seem a little scared! They claim I have inspired them to lose weight, but I think the thought of me being smaller than them is frightening! Now, in the back of my mind, I want to believe that I am an inspiration, but I must admit I am slightly agitated. Let me explain … By no means do I think I have cornered the market on weight loss, but I have been the fattest one in my circle of friends FOREVER! Now, when I start losing weight everyone wants to get smaller! Are you really wanting to lose weight or can you simply not imagine me thinner than you? This is the questions I will not allow to part my lips! This would be rude, wouldn’t it? So, today my agitation was challenged. My childhood friend calls to see how I am doing. Mind you, this is the same friend who claimed she would never speak to me again if I had weight loss surgery. I guess she got over it huh? Anyway, I explain I have lost 40 pounds in 6 weeks and can’t eat very much. She has always been much smaller than me, but has recently gained some weight. Even at her heaviest, she has never been as big as I was. She goes on this tangent about how she needs to loose weight and can’t believe she is 241 pounds. I say “Girl. I am down to 242.” There is silence on the other end of the phone. I can hear her heart stop beating. She finally says “You and I weigh the same now?” I reply, “I guess so.” She frantically says, “Give me your doctor’s number. I gotta do something about this fat!” Now, allow me to pause for a moment. I am not selfish. I don’t mind my friend getting healthy, but why does it have to be because you realized that you and I weigh the same. It scared the pooh out of her to realize that in a few days, we would switch roles. She would be the fat friend and I would be the “not so fat friend”! Needless to say, I was agitated! Then, I calmed down and realized that part of why I had this surgery was to inspire others to take control of their health (and so I could wear a swimsuit in public). I was reminded of how I have always been able to motivate others to strive for greatness (or foolishness-depending on the occasion). This is no different. I gave my friend my doctor’s number and even offered to go with her to her first visit. My agitation had now turned into inspiration. So to my friends I say, thank you for your support! I am elated that I could be the wind beneath your wings, the flame that ignites your fire, the catalyst for change you so badly needed. I AM AN INSPIRATION!

It took 9 days to lose 0.60 of a pound. The scale moved back up, so it's been 13 days since I've actually lost weight. It's so frustrating! I know it's silly to feel so frustrated I've lost 103 lbs, but I haven't gone this long before without weight loss. I've heard that a lot of people will stall around 100 lbs. I hope that's all it is, because I'm still eating right, drinking all my water, and I'm still exercising. This is where I have to take my own advice and just push through it and keep doing what I'm doing until my body snaps out of it. I'm trying to breathe and stay positive and is it hard! I know any day now the scale will reflect my work, but getting to that point... grrr I say GRR!!