Hi all!

I have been considering getting a lap band for a while now. I couldn't before because of my insurance but it looks like my husband's new insurance *might* actually cover it... knock on wood.

I went to a meeting a while back and the doctors were saying that, in order to succeed with a lap band, one must have a lot of self control and, if not, one should opt for the bypass instead.

Personally, I could probably keep myself in check if I was single but I have 2 children and a husband that ALWAYS attempts to sabotage my weight loss attempts.

I don't think it's conscious but he is not willing to get the lap band with me and I fear that if I get it he will only encourage me to push it to it's limits.

I don't like the idea of rearranging my organs, (at all), but I don't want to get a lap band and then not be able to keep myself in check, with him taunting me along the way.

Has anyone had a similar situation and, if so, what came of it and your weight loss decision?

Please, no "no one can sabotage you, you can only sabotage yourself" kind of comments. I have heard them all and have learned one thing over the years: if it's in front of me, I will probably eat it, (and like it).

Thank you, in advance, for your experience!

Shannon

Hi Shannon. Without a support system in the house it's going to be very challenging for you. Whether you get LB or GB it's still going to be very challenging for you. With GB over time you can stretch out your new stomach if you are not eating properly. At least with LB you can go for fills. the tighter you are the less hungry you are in between meals. If it's a matter of not eating the proper foods if you are the main shopper in the house then don't buy any junk food. Or at least buy junk food that you don't like.

If your husband brings in junk food you like tell him he can't eat it around you and he has to hide it. That's what I told my dad. Just picture your goal and stay focused. Your incentive will be losing your weight and getting healthy. Good luck!

I think you CAN succeed with the band because you are aware of what the issues may be. I am not worried that your husband will make you or let you cheat around the band. My concern is for you with a husband who would taunt or sabotage you. This will likely only get worse as you get skinny if he stays fat. I think you and your band will succeed but without some work your relationship may not...good luck, maybe time to find out what your spouse really means by these sabotages and taunts...

Thank you for your comments. I know what you mean about the sabotage and where it's stemming from... I come from a family of counselors. :devil: That is why I tried to talk my husband into getting the band with me. He has always been heavy, just like me. As long as we can remember we have been heavy. Neither of us are the "overly active" types either. My job/business is very sedentary as are most if my hobbies.

I am hoping that, once banded, I can start having more active hobbies, like skiing and rollerblading etc.. Maybe once he sees that he can't keep up with the kids and I he'll finally take the plunge!

Thanks again, I'll try to post as things progress.

Shannon

my wife and family do not want me to be banded but I decided I was doing it more for me and my health, than for them. I will be scheduled for surgery in late june and they are less resistant at this time. I know if I don't do this now I will die a premature death which I would like to avoid. Make the decision for you not them or him.

I am not sure why they do not want you to do it; I am sure they want you to be healthy. Maybe they are unrealistically afraid of losing you. Work on reassureing them. And yes, if you want to do this, lose weight and be healthy, you can do it, with or without the band, remember the band is just another tool.

Thanks again for your notes. I have actually suggested, again, that he get banded so we can start the journey together and he is more receptive now... knock on wood.

I think, personally, that he fears losing me if I lose weight. He has never been thin and has a bad self esteem. Over the years, and with a little prodding/support, that has gotten better but I do feel like there are 2 parts to his sabotaging me; 1) the above, (his fears of losing me), and 2) he tends to REALLY crave things he isn't supposed to have. When I was pregnant he started drinking my favorite drink, (margueritas), because I couldn't have it.

I know this sounds like he's a sick pup/mean spirited person but he is not. I addressed his drinking when I was pregnant and he stopped. The food, though, he still hasn't been as supportive on.

So, hopefully after he meets with the Dr. on the 2nd he'll be even more receptive, and maybe even excited, to have the procedure done. As I said before, neither of us can remember being thin. We both started packing on pounds at about the age of 2.

I'll keep folks posted, thanks again!

Shannon

PS, any other NH band-lovers out there?