So, today I had my first "meeting" with my phone coach from Tufts. I had to answer like a billion questions and listen to all of the program details and stuff. She had me make goals to try to meet in the next two weeks. Now I'm all for losing weight, I mean thats what this is really all about but I'm kind of on the edge of the weight limit anyway and I don't have any other co-morbidities. I'm not really sure if I should take the program seriously and try to do the stuff or if I should just lie to her considering she can't see me anyways. I really want to have this surgery and I think its going to be the best thing for me in the long run. I will even start doing this stuff after I hvae my initial consult but thats not until July! And every where else that I call has just as long of a wait until the initial appointment. I'm on a cancellation list and stuff but still thats a long time.

On the other hand, the program might work for me. I don't know. I need something strict but I used to be a college athlete. I know I have some serious will power under there somewhere. I mean come on... I used to wake up at 4 am to go weight lift with the football team. Why can't I find that will power and just make it all go away?!? Why does weight loss have to be so hard and slow and emotional... And maybe I don't have that will power anymore. Maybe somewhere a long the way, life took it away. Well the get up and lift weights at 4 am part... maybe its in a different form now... maybe its me working full time and going to school so I can build medical devices that will change someone elses life... I don't know...

What do I do? Follow the program and see if I'm strong enough to do it with it surgery and possibly miss the biggest opportunity I've had... or fake it and lose my last chance to do it on my own... Help!

Follow that program! Don't give up. I know what you mean.....Im on the edge of the weight limit in a way - without any co-morbidities however......how long until there are co-morbidities. What we are trying to do is prolong our lives- live the best life possible. Sometimes it is not about will power....everyone who has tried to lose weight has will power and has probably felt that they don't have it. but i really feel like there is so much more to it than that......anyway...im rambling. Keep trying- go with the program, take it day by day!!! God Bless