23 days left before band
I'm kind of in a whirl the last few days/weeks. I have been meaning to start exercising intensely every day and focusing on eating my veggies to get my blood, heart and body as ready physiologically as I can for surgery.
For whatever reason, my body has kindof "shifted" for the worse and my food cravings and addiction-like feelings towards food have gotten more and more toxic. I walked 3 miles on Saturday (outside--prob'ly shouldn't have done that with the pollen) and I was DYING!!! My ankles have been SO puffy after each day of work. The 10 pounds I gained to qualify for the insurance have come with a vengence and I guess I got those the hard way, because they are HERE to STAY it feels like! And with them--heartburn out of my mind, breathless at the slightest exertion, and a "free for all" feeling of eating "my last" filet mignon, soft pretzels upon soft pretzels, cookie dough, mint chocolate shakes before the surgery. I feel so afraid that I will fail at this surgery and what it takes to make it successful. I feel almost clingy to my crazy eating habits that have taken me to this place.
This week is a crazy week. Today I have my thyroid doctor (typical checkup), tomorrow the appointment with the lawyer to do my will/trust/power of attorney, Wednesday I have my OBGYN yearly appt and then the PCP pre-op appointment. June 2nd is the PREOP with my surgeon.
Today I really want to focus on my goals for the next three weeks and really try to take back the reins for this getting myself ready for surgery.
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