Many people have a fear of failing yet AGAIN. I can understand the fear of having people watch you and wait for the failure to happen.

I have a huge fear of people watching me and expecting success!

I'm not yet banded; expect a surgery date sometime in late July. I'm trying to get some of the "head" work started NOW. Hence the discussion on fear of success.

I realize that being fat gives me a perfect excuse to not be successful at whatever I don't have the courage to tackle.

Have a big project at work that requires some extra hours? Oh wait, I think I'm too exhausted from being fat to work extra hours; so...my failure is because I'm fat.

Don't feel comfortable about riding my horse in front of more capable people? Oh wait, I don't feel it's good for the horse for me to climb on in all my fatness.

A built in excuse. WOO HOO

What the HECK am I going to do without my excuse? People are going to expect me to be perfect. YIKES.

I don't want anyone to expect anything from me. I just want to be left alone to achieve what I achieve without worrying about the expectations of anyone else.

Guess I need to become a hermit, eh?

I wouldnt say become a hermit, but to accept things as they are. You've had an excuse of being fat to excuse from doing anything to progress. However you have to change your mind set and if your thinking about having this surgery than you've already started. We are far worst to ourselves than what we realize because we see what we assume everybody else see's and we carry that and hold that. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change courage to accept the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference" I have that prayer as a tat on my body. I have it there because I work with soldiers here in Iraq and I become friends with them and I know some of them will not becoming back and that is my prayer for there families, but it is also my prayer for myself and my challenge with my weight. No matter how successful we are in this weight thing people are going to look at us and say what they want to but you do not have accept and you dont have to wear that burden of the title that they give you. Lose your weight and feel good about you and know that you are doing this for your life and that nothing that they say is going to hinder you from saving your own life. Hope the prayer works for you and I will send up a prayer for you as well.. Be good to yourself for once its a new day.

Good Luck, B.

I too had a fear of failing again and thus I am very thankful for this site, as I did not tell anyone at work what I was having done , I only siad surgery and needed 2 week off. The above prayer has helped me as well and sometimes you have to take it 1 hr. at a time. I am down 30+ and counting down for 30+ more. take care mwh2266

I do need to focus more on what I can control, and leave the rest. Thank you both for reminding me of that. :cursing:

I should hang that on the mirror so I can see it every day.