This morning I weighed in .25 lb heavier. I can’t even say that I’m upset. I mean it’s that time (sorry guys) and I usually gain then. I did not sit on my butt this past weekend so I’m ok. Of course if I don’t see some weight loss next Monday, I won’t be so chipper about it. I have yet to exercise, but I have been doing lots of house work. I just moved into my new home and I have so much work to do! I hate it, but it’s a necessary evil. Today I am going out into the yard and pick up sticks, branches, rocks, left over pipes and pieces of cement, scraps of roofing material – most of the stuff I thought the contractors should have cleaned up after they finish building a house). I need to cut my grass (for the first time this season). The grass is high now, but I won’t have my lawn mower until tomorrow. I hope I don’t run into any snakes. If I do, then I will certainly be getting some exercise then!!! J This fat chick will be hustling out of that grass so fast, you’d think Florence Griffith Joyner (FloJo) had come back to run through my yard rather than just plain ole me:lol:.

My restriction is funky. I’m not really sure what’s going on with my band. Some days I can eat whatever and then other days I can’t eat anything. Then of course there are the times that only crap like a Snicker bar will go down and stay there. The last time I went in for a fill, I had to have it taken right back out. My doctor told me that I shouldn’t get another fill until I had lost about 25 lbs more. I think I’m five lbs away from that goal. I’m not sure but I think I was around 265 then. Well, I still have PBs, sometimes if I drink too fast and sometimes if I don’t chew properly I guess. I am well aware of my band at all times. I hate not being sure if I am going to be able to keep down the glass of water that I’m drinking. Of course I have not been back to the doctor since then – that was in October 2008 – I think – yeah that’s when it was – or was it late September? Well anyway…this week I got a letter from my surgeon’s office saying that I am due in for a check up. I made an appointment for May 5th. Who knows, maybe by then I’ll have lost 4.75 lbs to make that 25 lb goal, but I’m not looking to get a fill. In fact, I may ask him to check to make sure my band has not slipped. I really don’t want to know if it has, because I am not willing to give it up or be unfilled. I just don’t want anymore of a fill right now. In fact I don’t want one until I get to a point where I can drink a glass of water whenever I want (I know I cannot drink while eating) without the fear of having it come right back up. I think there is something wrong with the way I eat and drink though. For some reason I take in a lot of air which causes burping. (My doctor says the burping comes from eating too fast, but sometimes I burp even when I eat slowly).

I’m always going to look at the before and after pictures forum, for inspiration. I look at those pictures and I tell myself that I can do this too. At first I was kicking myself for not losing as fast as others, but now not so much. I just want to do and be my best. I try really hard not to compare my journey to someone else’s – that’s always an easy task, but I’m working on it. So, usually I look at successful people’s photos and I feel hope and encouraged. Sometimes I need that. Sometimes I think, “I’ve lost 69 lbs and I’m still FAT!!!:thumbdown:” But when I look back at some of my own before pictures, I realize that I lost a lot more than 69 lbs and although I am not thin, I am on my way to becoming the best me that I can be. Now THAT pumps me up!!!! (now if I could only get my living room cleared and my Wii hooked up…):thumbup: