I am starving my freaking tookus off. I guess that’s the point of all of this, in a way—minus the starving part. That part is actually kind of the opposite of what this is about, in the long run anyhow. But tonight I am definitely starving. Tomorrow is my surgery which means I was relegated to clear liquids all day. That means all I was allowed to consume were Italian ices, sugar free jello, broth, juice (of the white grape and apple varieties) and water. I’m here to tell you that while I love Italian ices, if I have to eat another one, I will hurl. Or more likely, I will dry heave, since real vomiting requires there to actually be something of substance in my stomach.

And what’s worse is that after midnight I can’t have anything at all—not even water. This wouldn’t be so bad if I had to be at the hospital at 7am, but noooooooo. Of course since I’m young and relatively healthy, I get the last surgery of the day which means I don’t even have to be at the hospital until 2pm. On the bright side, that means less time overall in the hospital. I’ll be drowsy for the rest of the day after I wake up and then go to sleep, and before I know it, it will hopefully be morning and I can do my post surgical tests and go home. And even better is that I will likely be in the hospital for less than 24 hours which saves me $225 in copay. But that also means that I won’t stop starving anytime soon.

I suppose I shouldn’t focus on that. I have to focus on the positive—remember what I’m doing this for. I’m doing it to take control of my life. And until today it hasn’t been too bad. The worst part of the liquid diet leading up to today was the lack of variety. Everything tasted sweet except the soups. I have a major sweet tooth and all, but this was a bit much, even for me. As the days went by I actually wound up eating less and less. I think day 4 was the hardest; I was still hungry, but didn’t want to eat any more of the foods I was allowed, which meant I didn’t eat as much as I needed and felt crappy. By days 5 and 6 I really didn’t feel much hunger and wasn’t even consuming a full 6 meals anymore, but I still felt good. Of course I was still consuming some meals, which is more than I can say for my broth sipping, ice-pop sucking day today. Man, I’m really starving. Where was I again? Oh yeah, it’s not so bad…

Anyhow, it’s almost over. Or perhaps I should say it’s almost starting. That’s what the lap-band really is—a start. But what I meant was the nerve racking, surgery part is almost over. I’ve kept my nerves pretty well in check, actually. I mean, this is a small hospital with a big bariatric department. They do this all the time so I’m fairly confident that I’ll wake up from anesthesia plus one lap band and not minus one leg or with a bald head and my cranium held together by circlage wire or something. And the anesthesia’s not too scary to me either. I don’t know if that’s because in my job we do anesthesia and surgery every day with 1/10th the resources and the patients do just fine so I’m not that nervous, or because I just don’t let myself experience the nerves because I don’t like to deal with my feelings.

I would however love to deal with the feelings of hunger I’m currently experiencing. Gah, I need to stop thinking about food. What wouldn’t I do for some of that pot roast my mother made for her and my Dad last night? Especially with a nice buttered piece of challah. God, that sounds good. But I won’t be eating that anytime soon. Hopefully one day I will once again be able to enjoy such a treat—in my new lap-band aided policy of moderation, of course. That’s about it for tonight. I’ll be back on Tuesday with the skinny from the big day. Toodles.