I really can't stand when my husband tires to make a joke and it just hits me the wrong way - joking about things that I can't control - things that are affected by my illness. It HURTS that he says things like that, but he doesn't see it that way because its "not what he meant". I really don't care what he MEANT - think before you speak, jerk. It'd be one thing if this was the first time this happened - but its a repeated thing.

A wise man (psychologist) once told me, "we have to own and take responsibility for what we say...no one knows what you meant, its what you say!" That's why when someone uses a derogatory racial term but then says no offense, or I really like people of whatever race it doesnt count...you said it, its hurtful, you own it!

Good luck girl! Cali

A wise man (psychologist) once told me' date=' "we have to own and take responsibility for what we say...no one knows what you meant, its what you say!" That's why when someone uses a derogatory racial term but then says no offense, or I really like people of whatever race it doesnt count...you said it, its hurtful, you own it!

Good luck girl! Cali[/quote']

EXACTLY! Say what you mean and mean what you say! Sure, we can all mis-speak from time to time, but its not like this is the first time! Yes, he was joking he clarified, but that doesn't mean even the joke doesn't hurt. Hopefully someday he'll think before he speaks a bit more