Like my Self Esteem needed this!
I bought a Wii Fit this last weekend. I figured that even if I can't exercise now I can show that I am willing to make an effort and have a plan in place for when I am able to exercise.
WHO INVENTED THIS MALICIOUS TORTURE DEVICE?
I plunked down nearly 100 dollars of my DH's hard earned money on this atrocity. That cute childlike little voice is so encouraging and makes it seem so easy. It told me it was just going to do a simple Body Test on me. I picked my cute little Mii and followed the directions.
All the sudden my adorable little character starts to blow up like a balloon! I thought she would explode! I think I saw bits of chocolate flying into her mouth. No one told me they were actually going make her look like me . Like I can't look in the mirror and see that I am fat--now I have a fattie mii to workout with. Then it reminded me of the fact that I am beyond overweight. After my balance tests it told me that I probably trip over my own feet when walking.
So as of right now this vicious device has told me I am an obese klutz. And I PAID for it to tell me that! I have a mother and children--I can get that information for free whenever I want.
And it has told me that it expects me to come and visit it every day. Why? Cause it hasn't told me I dress frumpy, wear too much makeup and could use a new hairstyle?
Then I found out that it is going to be stalking me if I don't show up for training? I can just imagine my phone ringing and that childlike voice "Mom (my wii's name), why hasn't your obese klutzy butt been up here to play with me? I am going to raise your Wii Age to 60 if you don't come see me. I have all of your Carnival Game tickets and you can't have them back until you run 10 miles. I am taking over your Sims house and redecorating it with Country Chintz. I WON'T BE IGNORED!"
I knew I should have been scared from the moment I started to open it and the first warning on the box was "CAUTION: Everyone in the room will be able to see just how old, fat and klutzy you are when you use this" (I paraphrased a little. . )
Some skinny game developer is laughing his butt off all the way to the bank. I would love to get my fat klutzy hands around his scrawny little neck. . .
But who would have thought that trying to gain 5 pounds would be so hard???? (stop throwing things at me!!!)
I have been eating nonstop. And eating crap. I am afraid to do anything else on the Wii Fit cause I don't want to screw up my chances when I weigh in. Yeah, it groans when I step on it and says "that's obese!, in that so cute little voice, but apparently that little girl doesn't work for the insurance company. I was going to reweigh this week but I realized I can't get my insurance paperwork together until next week and I figured that I would give myself a better chance of hitting the magic number if I waited a week.
When I weigh myself with clothes and a full bladder at the end of the day I am just barely making the 40 BMI. At the beginning of the day I am still around 228--not enough to qualify.
But just enough for my evil little Mii to take up most of the screen. I swear when I was watching my skinny children play I could hear my Mii crunching away on a bag of potato chips.
Or maybe that was me.. .
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