Have had a very rough winter. I'm trying to eat better and of course am better mood wise with the spring.

I have not lost any weight in a year. I'm around 173, sometimes 5 pounds less. I have this "wonderful" office job that doesn't allow me exercise like I would like. Life has gotten in the way of my band. It is a priority, but I think it has lots of problems.

I've forced myself to get out more. This is incredibly hard for me. I still feel obese. How do I get over that feeling???? I pray for strength many days. Some days I'm ok, other days I'm not.

So, I think having this band is so difficult. Definitely a diet. I am eating around 1800 calories a day and not losing. So, if this is it, than so be it. I'm not starving to lose- only to gain it back.

I'm a size 12 pants and still quite large with shirts. I can be thankful I still have breasts, I guess. I can't do high impact exercise with my boobs though!

I need a tummy tuck. I'm wondering if I'll go down a size in pants if i get it. I'd like to feel good about myself for once, having excess skin doesn't do that.

I plan on having lots of fun this summer. I can't believe how conservative I am. I wish I were normal some days. I'm trying to be more stylish with my dress, less conservative, but I feel so sleazy when i do that. Gotta get over that. My boobs are so huge everything looks obscene on me.