What is wrong with me?
I've eaten Easter candy and ice cream. I'm sabotoging myself. I was hoping I could hold out and not have a fill but I'm realizing I need it. I can eat pretty much anything and as much as I want. I'm not making the right choices and I've gained 3lbs. I hurt my back on Easter sunday - I've never hurt my back before. I simply got up from playing with the kids on the floor and had a pinch in my lower back and I couldn't stand up straight. It was so very painful - I could barely walk. I didn't even go to work on Monday and I never miss work. Anyway - I think taking it slow may have helped my port pain - actually I think I've been compensating so much for that pain when bending certain ways that perhaps I created this lower back pain injury. Anyway - it just tells me that I need to exercise, stretch out my muscles and strengthen them to hopefully help that I don't have this happen again.
I was hoping to be smaller by my next business meeting - well its next week - and I'm not any smaller. Also my birthday is in 2 mos - guess I won't be where I'd hoped by that time. The worst part is, that its all my fault. When am I going to fix this? When am I going to make the right choices? Am I greiving the loss of food? I have felt a little depressed about not being able to eat what I want and I've noticed myself eating like I'll never get to eat that stuff again. Self sabotage. I think I'm PMSing also. Lovely.
I'm going to order that book - on cognitive re-learning - its at my local library so I think I'll do that before I go and purchase it.
I'm going to make myself a tip jar - things to distract me in the moment where I want to eat something.
I need to get myself straight! I need to buck up!:smile2:
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