Gain 5, Lose 100
I still remember when I found out that I was "obese". I had gone to see an allergist for allergy testing and they had given me a letter to take back to my PCP. I opened the envelope when I got in the car and read:
"Mrs. WDW Luver is an obese female, age 25 presenting with symptoms. . ."
OBESE????? I knew I was pleasantly plump, probably overweight and maybe even fat. But obese??? Not me. I was only about 175 or 180. That can't be obese, can it?
I felt like I had been punched in my (obese!) stomach and all the air left my body. One sentence. One word. And why was it the first thing listed in describing me? That one word hurt and stung and the tears started.:thumbup: But then I got angry. I remember thinking a few things.
1. What the hell does my weight have to do with the fact that I am allergic to ragweed, cockroach dung and cats?
2. Why does he find it necessary to let my PCP know that I am obese? Does he think he doesn't notice? Does he think my wonderful PCP that has been taking care of me for several years is going to read that and suddenly realize "OMG! She is FAT and I just never noticed! So glad the Allergist pointed that out to me."
3. That Allergist is a raging jerk and I won't be going back to him!
But now I find out that as I have put on the weight I am Morbidly Obese. Wow. Take a horrible, grotesque and depressing word and add another that is even more awful to describe those of us that have been struggling with our self esteem and weight issues for years. Morbid. That word makes me thing of death. Websters says that it means "characteristic of disease" and lists Grisly and Gruesome as synonyms.
Gruesome Obesity.
We have all seen the looks, stares, pointing, and whispers over our gruesome fatness. Do we really need such gruesome words to describe us? I know someone with cancer, the most grisly and gruesome disease I know of, but wasn't told she had morbid cancer. My grandfather had a stroke that took away most of his capabilities, but it was never described as a morbid stroke. I had a friend in high school that was depressed to the point of being suicidal. He was never diagnosed as being morbidly depressed.
And if all of this wasn't bad enough we have to have comorbidities. Being Morbidly Obese may not be bad enough. Some of us have to have some other horrible condition that our weight is causing to qualify for surgery. Well HA! I may be Morbidly Obese, but I am the healthiest damn fat woman I know! Blood pressure is fine. No diabetes. Cholesterol is great, lipids (whatever those are) are within normal range. I sleep fine with no signs of apnea. I am fit as a fiddle, healthy as a horse and 100%. . .
Except for my feet.
I have a permanent handicapped tag, the DMV told after renewing the temp one 2x that I needed to go permanent. Permanently handicapped. Cause I am fat.
I read about applying for disability and I qualify. Permanently disabled. Cause I am fat.
I am in constant debilitating and excruciating pain. Permanent pain. Cause I am fat.
Excuse me, because I am obese. Actually the reality for me at this very moment is that I am not MORBIDLY obese. Nope! Yea Me! I am 5 pounds or less away from that. Depends on the time of day that I weigh actually. And when I last peed. And, you know, the other. And if I am wearing my Crocs or Tennis Shoes. Unfortunately for me when I went for the Informational Seminar at the local WLC I had an empty stomach. And I was wearing a lightweight skirt and my Crocs. And I had peed (and the other).
BMI of 38.9 Not morbidly obese. Morbidly handicapped. Morbidly disabled. But doesn't qualify for surgery.
So now I am in power training. To GAIN weight. I need 5 pounds by next week. I can weigh in again when I turn in the rest of my paperwork. I needed to get rid of 3 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies in the freezer anyway. And there was some ice cream. And of course there are a ton of "last meals" I need to have. Aunt Flo will be visiting me next week and she always brings water retention and several extra pounds with her. And I have some heavy jeans and a sweatshirt. And hiking boots. And several sets of keys in my pockets.
I have to gain 5 pounds to be approved to lose 100. And that to me is Morbid Stupidity.
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