Goooood morning all.

I was so scared prior to starting the pre-op diet (which I've started 2 weeks early) that there was no way I was going to be able to survive that phase without massive cheating from the start. I'm an all or nothing girl - I either don't cheat at all or I cheat big time. The last 10 years or so I have not been able to survive more than about half a day of any diet without cheating and I was terrified this would be true with this pre-op thing. This time I, with Lisa's help, applied the "Yes, I can" attitude and guess what - Despite my seriously jonesin' for some seriously bad food (especially the first three days), I'm on the fifth day of the pre-op diet and I'm I have not had one single bit of food that one would not classify as a healthy choice!! Not only am I surviving but I am feeling great. It is so much easier when you think this is the last time you're going to have to do this and you can see the finish line is just a few weeks away. I can't wait for the next official weigh in (never thought I'd say those words!!). I've decided my Thursday morning weight is going to be my official weight. I tend to weigh myself constantly (which I know is really not a good thing to do).

The first two days were hell on earth - I was so hungry that I could eat a horse and then chase after the jockey! Also, I had shocking sugar withdrawal headaches that didn't go away despite me drinking litres of water and taking Panadol (Tylendol for US readers). Then, there's the crankiness - no one else was gonna have any fun if I wasn't having any!!

I think having both Lise and I going through the same thing made it easier for both of us - one could help the other through their humps and provide encouragement to keep going. Also, as we're both fiercely competitive, one couldn't let herself lapse if the other one wasn't lapsing too. There were moments where each of us tried to cajole the other into giving into temptation but, fortunately for both of us, the two of us didn't feel the same way at the same time and one could always help steer the other toward the healthier choice. The only exception was last night where we both thought we should swap a shake for a very small serving of lamb (from a spit) and salads. Neither of us see this as a cheat. The calories are no worse than the shake and its a swap of protein for protein. Are we kidding ourselves?? If you've got an opinion, please let us know.

To distract ourselves, we're going out a lot - we went to the movies on Thursday night, we took our gorgeous two-year old nephew to the park on Sat arvo and then we played poker at the fabulous poker room at Melbourne's Crown Casino on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights (which ended up a profitable exercise to boot)!!

For anyone out there that was in my boat about wondering if they could survive the few days of the pre-op diet, I'm living proof that "YES, YOU CAN". Just do it. The first few days are horrid but they can be survived and it is true that it gets easier after those initial few days.

The other thing that has been on my mind over the last few days have been thoughts about how I ever got to my current weight. I feel my biggest mistake was thinking I was fat when I was about 14 and then going on my first diet (I weighed 62kg [about 135#] and was 5'6" tall - not fat but not rake thin).

Wish I had someone say to me back then what our surgeon said to us when we first saw him - fierce dieting is a sure fire way of putting on weight in the longer term. It is a fact of life that some of us have a genetic propensity for storing calories as fat. We would have been the survivors in the stone age when sources of food were scarce (our fat stores would provide energy to go looking for food when food was in short supply while the skinny runts would all die as they would have no energy stores to rely on if they missed out on eating for too long etc) - its just too bad we live in a time of relative feast and not famine!! Maybe I would have felt a lot more comfortable with myself and would never have started the yo-yo dieting thing.

Last night I was talking to one of the rake-thin women at poker. Lisa and I were discussing what to do for dinner. I explained to the woman that Lisa and I were dieting and both starving. She said she never feels really hungry and fills up as soon as she eats anything. I soooo hope the lap band is going to do this for us - help us not feel so hungry almost all the time. I hope it's the tool to help me avoid slipping back to bad habits. However, I know that weight is still only lost by exercising more and eating less (more calories out and less in). I'm prepared to do this - I just wanting eating less to be easier than it has been!