DD is now down to her last 6 weeks of college and the stress is reaching an all time high. I’m getting calls from her several times a day…usually just to ‘unload’. She’s getting a double major and taking her hardest classes ever, she waitresses most evenings until late at night (and they have a new, mean, manager) and she’s been sending her resume out to everyone (and their brother) and is getting mostly rejections (like everyone graduating this Spring) but a few replies (but not anything close to what she’d like to be doing), and she’s trying to set up a few interviews and she doesn’t know yet if she’ll be moving or living at home until she’s settled on a job…so I get the stress, and we're both emotional women. Short pause…

I’m kidding…Actually, I do love that she still calls me when she needs support. I’m learning that you’re a Mom forever. My Mom is certainly a person I still call for advice and support all the time. I’m glad DD still needs me. Just one thing…I’m less than 6 weeks from surgery (which she has no clue about, since I'm only telling DH) and I’m at an all time stress level too…just ask DH…Short pause…

Actually I no longer use tampons…hysterectomy, but the visual is fitting for what follows. Yesterday DH had been bugging me (nicely, but I know things are already bad at his work/new job duties and he doesn’t need this) because I can’t get a date yet for my surgery (can’t schedule until my 6 mo. is done April 1) and he had to make excuses twice yesterday for trips they wanted him to schedule the end of April (he already has 2 trips planned the beginning of April, so I asked him not to schedule anything the last 2 weeks until we get my date)…then family members were calling me about the two graduation parties...then DD called me for the third time that day to unload that no one will work for her Friday night...you would have thought it was the end of the world…she has an interview in Pittsburgh Monday morning, so I’ll pick her up Sat. instead, but apparently that’s not what DD was freaking about…she’s worked extra hours for everyone else several times over and…yada-yada-yada, you get the picture….DS1 came home and unloaded about his big Senior Project that is due for his HS graduation...then we were eating dinner and DH realized he forgot to go to DS2’s mandatory track parent meeting last night…DS2 freaked out on me because he instantly thought he wouldn’t be able to be on track…well, you can guess…DH unloaded on me and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back/the perfect storm…I blew...WHY IS EVERYTHING MY PROBLEM/FAULT...oh, yeah, I'm the Mom (didn’t even see it coming, but I suddenly became aware that I'm more stressed out than I thought I was)…even DS1 came in to see what I was yelling about…yikes, apologies all around…I hate yelling…there’s a make-up track parent meeting tonight, crisis avoided…everyone is happy...good thing poor DH is traveling the rest of this week, he needs a break from all this...I need a chill pill. Short pause...

If you've made it this far, thanks, and I apologize for the vent...I'm sure you have enough stress in your own life..who needs to read about anyone elses. It just pointed out to me that although I'm so sure about this LB decision, I'm unconciously more stressed about all this (and everything else coming together all at once) than I thought. Today's mantra...

Have a hug and some peace, BG. Let's go find us a nice, quiet place, listening to birds singing, a babbling brook so clear you can see the face of the person whose head you're holding underwater...Yeah...

Thanks Lena...you always know just what to say...so true.

take a deep breath...in a couple of months all this will have passed. dd will have her first job...ds will be running around the track...and dh will still be yackety yacking. and you will be loving your life as mom. best wishes with your band.