Well, I am here.

I don't exactly know what to put, but hi, I'm me, and I weigh 266lbs.

I've been on a fairly strict diet and work out regimine now for 3 months (diet for longer), and somehow, I've managed to gain 5lbs.

As far as being fat, I'm pretty well proportioned and get around well. I never really have seen myself as morbidly obese but the reality is that I am. Though my cholesterol and bp's are all good, truth is I have 100lbs more on my heart than I should and a knee that is starting to give me problems at the age of 26. For other health reasons, my doctor finally threw his hands up in the air and ran all my blood tests, and then suggested the lap-band.

So in a few days I have my first consultation/meeting on it. I've been reading all I can; I first am going to the meeting, then I'll be calling our insurance to see how much they'll cover on it...and that will ultimately decide if I do it or not. Depending on that, I'll be waiting to set up the psych evals and be getting mentally ready for surgery. I've never had a single surgery in my life. Never a broken bone, a stitch, I didn't even have wisdom teeth, so I've never been knocked out for anything. The thought of it is definitely foreign, as well as a little frightening.

I've been on the site going through blogs and posts. I'm nervous about the procedure. I'm nervous about failing. I'm nervous about having to mush up my foods or eat liquid diets for a while post-op (I'm not a big drinker and the texture of mushy stuff freaks me out...) but...nothing is easy and there are always going to be sacrifices. If I can't find a way to do it for me...then I have to do it for my kids. Don't get me wrong--I *want* to do it. I *want* to be healthier. I *want* to have more energy. :thumbup:

My husband is as supportive as he can be. He doesn't like change much, and he's nervous that if I lose a ton of weight, that I'll become a different person. I'd hate to think that the personality I have today is dependent greatly on my weight. But I can't say that I am not worried about that, as well. I don't even want to be at 145 or 160; I've be very happy to be 200lbs.

Though the reason for the lap-band would not be cosmetic, my apprehension about it is. I'm very happy in my skin as I am now; I'm worried if I lose too much, too fast, that I'll have folds of skin hanging off of me. :wink_smile:

Well, I guess that is all I can say for now. I'm anxiously awaiting that first meeting this tuesday, and I'm sure I'll have more to write about, then.