The Moment When I Hit Bottom
A friend (Thanks, BG) just mentioned on her blog that Moment in time when she hit bottom and realized she needed weight loss surgery.
I had that moment when I hit the rocks at the bottom of a very long fall off a cliff. Sure, there'd been times when I saw the jagged rocks below and tried to stop myself, but the slow-motion downward spiral was inexorable. I was going to spatter, I just didn't know when.
The day finally came when I realized I'd begun to stick a finger down my throat at odd times, hoping to --I can't believe I'm saying this now-- make myself into a bulimic. Was that a sick plan, or what?
You know you've hit bottom when you would prefer to have a life-threatening mental condition rather than live as you are now. I would throw up any time I could find time and privacy, just hoping I'd either lose weight or maybe at least get to need to do it. Maybe there should be a new mental illness with a long name that means, "being desperate enough to wish you had X, Y, or Z illness."
When did you hit bottom?
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