The men aren't actually reading this, so for you ladies...As I’ve told you, I have the option of selecting either band type and I also have the option of selecting my port site. I told you about my surgeon’s consult in Jan. where, after doing my research, I told my doc that I’ve selected the LB and then we discussed my port site. I’ll remind you I selected a left of center, between my belly button line and my ribs…no third boob for this gal…3 boobs worked for Picasso, but not me…with my C-cup boobs, it would be the only one left at goal weight.

So on our way home from the consult I announced to DH that I intended to mark my port site on my tummy before surgery…he just chuckled…he’s used to ‘my kind of crazy’ (But now I have those papers from the Psych saying I’m not! So there!). My doc doesn’t get many requests for a different port site but it’s important to me (bad left side so I sleep on my right, and I’m right handed) and his default is the right side, so I don’t want him to forget (I have enough trouble with sleep). I’ve been thinking on and off about my tummy artwork (that’s what we artists do) and how I could make it funny without insulting my doc that he’d forget (he DID tell me to remind him).

I was reading some blogs lately that got me thinking; Banded Ben’s surgery date and trying to come up with a joke on the operating table so he could escape…too late, he was out. So, I was thinking maybe I could write a joke, or a funny poem on my belly to point out my port placement…welcome to ‘my kind of crazy’…yes, this is what goes on in my head. Wendytip’s post yesterday about people’s incision photos on LBT (I agree, eeewww), got me commenting about making different ‘connect the dot’ pictures with my incisions and washable markers and posting them here (NOT). But maybe I can do a dot picture for my port site?

So, why am I making this confession and sharing this now? I had second thoughts…what if the Sharpie isn’t sterile, or it messes them up and they refuse to do surgery because I wrote on myself? I’m not crazy enough yet to call my surgeon and ask. Today “The Doctors” was on as I was doing the laundry…the plastic surgeon on the panel was talking about how a Sharpie is his best friend for surgery! Hey yea, we’ve all seen those Dr. 90210 shows where they’re marking all over the woman’s bodies with a Sharpie. I’d forgotten about that! So I ran to the TV to listen. The question was about whether a Sharpie is sterile or not...WOW…my very question! Apparently Sharpie’s have a lot of alcohol in them, and even if they weren’t sterile the Betadine they smear all over you sterilizes everything. OK, I’m going for it! Now I’ve got artwork to plan! My practical jokes always backfire on me, so I hardly ever attempt them…they’ll either think I’m nuts or laugh…we’ll see what happens…if I wake up with a third boob, it backfired.

I must remember never to eat or drink when reading your posts or Wendytips. Twice now I've had to wipe my monitor. Don't you guys come with spew alerts? LOL!

What are you going to do? Draw a porthole around the site you want your port at?

Spew Alert...LOL! Porthole...Ohhh! Good idea! My doc is from former Czechoslovakia and he's only been here 5 years, so it's got to be a joke he'd get.

My doc was from Argentina. The poor man manages to keep up with me. Hehehehe!

WARNING- Possible Spew Alert! Yea, a pic is perfect...one of my Dr. Suessy poems he might have a little trouble with...

Left goes the port,

Or I'll take you to court.

Sew me up pretty,

Wanna be itty-bitty!

You are TOO FUNNY! So does the 3rd boob come with the band installation -- cuz if it does I need to get a partial refund :-)

So does the 3rd boob come with the band installation -- cuz if it does I need to get a partial refund :-)

Stacy- LOL! For some it did!!! I can't take credit for calling it a third boob, when I asked people where there port is and where they'd put their port if they had a choice, I saw several women who told me their doc attached their port to the breastbone right on the sternum (right thing?)...they described it as a third boob. I don't think anyone gets fat there...no more low cleavage tops for them!

That is a great idea to write something! The nurses have an on-going pool to see who can get the surgeon to laugh cuz he's just a little bit on the OMG serious side. I will have to conspire with them if I decide to write something. LOL

Good Luck Dr. Suess!

Let me know if you come up with a great poem :-)