I originally posted this on the message boards and I thought I could reuse for my first blog:

Hello everyone,

So this is my first post here and here is my story…

I am 29 years and I will hit the dreaded 30 next month. Not that I think 30 is old, I just can't believe that I am gonna be thirty and after all these years I have not be able to successfully manage my weight. Right now my scale is tipping at about 250. I haven't always been this fat. I would say that back in my high school days I was a little chubby. The last lowest weight I can last remember was 165 lbs in 2001. So I have gained 85 lbs in 8 years…wow. I have been happily married to my high school sweet heart for 6 years now and he is absolutely wonderful to me. He loves me as I am, no matter what. We have a awesome 18 month old son, who is the center of our universe.

I was diagnosed with a under active thyroid (hypothyroid) when I was 16 years old. Both my mother and grandmother were also hypothyroid and overweight as well, so my all of issues are definitely built into my genetic make up. But I will admit that I have contributed to my 85lb weight gain by eating improperly and being lazy. We moved away from our family and friends right after we got married, so I have spent the last six years some what isolated from our loved ones. We happily spend every weekend lazy, in love and alone on our sofa. Fortunately my husband has been blessed with a amazing metabolism, and he is the same 160 lbs that he weighed on the day we got married.

Now I will admit that I do have a food problem. But I am not a emotional eater. I actually lose my appetite when I am really upset. I am a 'bored' and 'lonely' eater. I snack when my husband isn't around. And I have no shame when it comes to making poor food choices…buffalo chicken, cheese burger, fries, pizza, chinese food…none of them any good. I have tried to lose weight in the past but always became easily discouraged and distracted when I didn't see any immediate results. I have always simply blamed my failed thyroid for holding me back. Although I know that is not 100% true. My life style certainly contributes.

I saw a new endocrinologist a few years back and asked him if he had any insight on how I can approach weight loss while living with hypothyroidism. I mean, obviously he has seen plenty of patients with my condition…he must know someone who has had success. I just wanted him to share their secret with me. Should I give weight watchers another try…should I try jenny craig…should I see a nutritionist…can he give me a magic pill?!?!?! And then he gave me the old diet and exercise talk…as if I was stupid and never heard of it before. Ugh, whatever…thanks for nothing!

I then decided to start seeing a new endocrinologist just because his office was closer to work and it was convenient. I asked him if he knew what the secret to weight loss was. Now before I tell you what he told me, I want to paint this visual for you. My endo is a 5 ft tall chinese man. He is straight from china and I really have to focus when he talks so I can understand his words clearly through his accent. He speaks very abrubtly and to the point. So when I told him that I don't believe I eat a lot but I just wanted know what he thinks I need to do, he told me…"it doesn't matter what you eat, just eat half! If the only thing you eat all day is a peanut, then only eat HALF a peanut the next day!" What?!?! As if that was even possible. I felt defeated again. But he actually seemed to take more interest in the health of my thyroid. He gave attention to a 2 cm nodule that my last endo identified and did nothing with. My new endo conducted ultra sounds and a biopsy. The biopsy results revealed that my nodule is non-cancerous but it was also not begin. My nodule cells are just irregular. They could remain irregular for the rest of my life or there is also the potential that they can become cancer at some point. Thyroid cancer is very, very slow growing. Regardless of what they are or would be, the option of having surgery to remove that part of my thyroid was completely in my hands. I could chose to monitor to the grow or I could choose to cut it out.

So this is the part of my story that brings me here today...the whole idea of any type of surgery scares me. I don't want to be put to sleep and I know it is vain but don't want the scar on my neck. But I know that I want to live the rest of my life free and clear of the potential of cancer. My thyroid is sick to begin with and hasn't been working probably since I was 16 years old. I already take 224 mcg of synthetic thyroid replacement medication. I came to the conclusion that my thyroid is useless and they may as well remove the whole thing. My total thyroidectomy is scheduled for Feb 3rd.

So I have been thinking about my endo's "half a peanut" theory and began to seriously consider lap band surgery. My mom has gastric bypass surgery a few years back and it has given her a new life. She has no regrets other than not doing it sooner. I want to live the next 30 years of my life differently from the way that I currently do. I want to run and play with my son. I want to look good standing next to my hubby. This posting is long enough, I am sure I don't need tell you guys everything that I want because I am sure they are same things that you want from life. So spoke to my husband, my mom and friend and I think I feel good about pursuing this. I am going to attend a Introductory Bariatric Meeting on 2/13. I know that this isn't the going to be the final resolution I was searching for. It is not a magic pill. But I believe that it a tool that will put me in the rigth direction. Thanks for your time!