2/11/09 What kind of CRAZY "Sport" is this?!!
We went to Kohl’s (department store) tonight for a sale and I decided to pick up a few of the things on my “Surgery List”. I got some slide in slippers for the hospital (because I won’t be able to bend over to put slippers on) and one of those nifty Magic Bullets for pre-chewing my food for me, and then I decided to pick up a few sports bras. Someone here suggested buying sports bras for several reasons; they’re great in the hospital when you don’t want an underwire bothering you or your incisions, and they’re good when you’re losing weight as they’ll last longer than a regular bra (yeah NOT where I need to lose, so that’s exactly what will happen). Sports Bra…SOUNDS like a good idea, right?
Let me start by saying I’ve never owned a sports bra. Now I’ve had tanks with built in bras, but I’ve never needed a sports bra. OK, DH helps me look (nice guy, huh, flipping through the bra section with all the women). So we found two in my current size and one in the next band size down (I’m thinking I might need this once I lose a few inches). So I go to the dressing room to try them on, yelling over my shoulder “Honey, I’ll just be a minute!” (we were done shopping after this).
My size fits fine…boy these aren’t too hard to get on, but they aren’t easy to get off (and remember I’m in Physical Therapy for my shoulder, partly). That should have been a clue. I happily try on the next size down…it’s tight…too tight to even want to take home “because you might fit into it soon”…yeah, THAT kind of tight…like now I can hardly breath tight. So I start frantically trying to peel it off…It tightly rolls up until it’s a tight twisted band at armpit level now…OK, now what to do…I try reaching across and grabbing one side at a time…nothing budges…my arms are too fat to pull it up around. I try the old cross both arms and trying pulling on both sides at once...nothing…except now my shoulder is killing me and the ‘rubber band bra' is now a tiny bit higher…just enough to keep my arms above my head now. OK, I KID YOU NOT PEOPLE…I SPENT ANOTHER 10 MIN. TRYING TO GET THE D#*M SPORTS BRA OFF!! I was seriously considering giving up and calling for help, hoping someone else was in the dressing room (pretty sure it was empty). Picture me yelling for help and the sight I’d be when the door opened to my dressing room…fat lady, naked from the waist up, twisted rubber band across the top of her chest and forcing her to hold her arms above her head. Yeah, that picture made me give it one last shot…I’m pretty sure I dislocated my shoulder (my PT is sooo going to kill me tomorrow) but with a cry of pain I got the D@*M thing off. DH “What the heck happened to you? I thought you died in there!” Me “I did...let’s go.”
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