Wow - I never meant to let it get this long without another posting. Yet more evidence that the more weight you lose, the more you re-enter the real world and that thing called "a life" that you have been avoiding, which means you just get busier and busier!!

SOO.... I have been doing great. I have lost 62 lbs. now but I know that I have been slipping from the right path. One thing is my food choices. Not the greatest lately. Not terrible (I AM still losing weight) but not great - a few too many cookies here and there. And while it hasn't derailed my success (YET), it just shows me that I am getting complacent - lazy! So I need to get back on track.

The second thing I have been bad about is exercise. I basically haven't exercised at all since the start of winter. Given that it is now mid-February and that I live in MN, so winter began about September - that is a long time and, again, a bad habit. It has been so cold that walking outdoors wasn't an option. And I joined the YMCA with the intention of swimming (the only exercise I actually enjoy!) but it has ended up being a hassle to get the truck. We only have the one SUV and Pat uses it to go to work. Normally it isn't that big of a deal because we live so close to the base that I can take the truck anytime. But it means getting everyone up really early (about 5:30am) to bring Pat in and then come home. So I recently bought a treadmill on Craigslist for $50 (great deal!!) and I am excited. Imagine that - me excited about exercise!! But I am! I feel that I have already had a lot of success with my weight loss and can you imagine the results if I actually got off my butt and did some exercise?? Well, I can and I like it!! It will be nice to be able to go to the den downstairs and put my ipod on or watch TV while I walk and Molly can play, etc. So my exercise is now completely in my hands - no excuses about the truck or weather. And I am looking forward to the challenge. (Which is shocking to me that I even wrote that sentence!!)

The last thing that I am being bad about is going to the lapband doctor. I don't need a fill (I don't think so anyway. I am pretty happy where I am at. I already skip meals at times because I just forget and I'm not hungry. *I am NOT advocating that as a good idea!!* I'm just being honest. But I also feel that when I do eat, I can eat more than the one cup that I should be eating. But I am more concerned that if I get the fill any tighter, I might stop eating even more, which is obviously not healthy. So I think I'll stay where I am for now.) But what happened was I missed the first appointment because I flaked out. So I rescheduled and it was about a month later before they could get me in. So next thing you know, I freaking flake on that one too!! (I often ask myself if I am really an adult and so far, I can't answer myself!) So I was really disappointed in myself and embarrassed that I did that twice. So then I didn't want to call and make another appointment - I felt like I'd be scolded or they'll be mad at me. Which is ridiculous. They have so many patients they probably don't remember that I missed the dang appointments anyway. And even if they do - what are they going to do?? Make a comment and we all move on. But I have let it go on for so long now, that I really don't want to face them and have to admit how long since I've seen the doctor. (Hello?? Will Claire the adult please stand up??) This is childish and I know it, but I can't seem to get over the feeling like I've let them down and I don't want to show my face there. So I think I will call and schedule an appointment and make my husband go with me. He is really my rock - he is a no-BS type of guy and helps me overcome these types of issues and see how silly it really is.

So that is how I have been bad. BOO!!! :thumbup:

Now onto the good stuff!! I have lost 62 lbs baby!! I used to wear a 26/28 and I am now in a 22/24!! I just bagged up the last of the too big clothes from my closet and with our tax return we got me some clothes. Which I loved. Not only shopping for smaller sizes, but the way clothes looked better on me, the fact that there are cuter clothes to choose from, that there is more variety to choose from, etc etc. So that was pretty awesome. My husband spent a fortune on lingerie for me!! Every pair of panties are adorable now (or sexy) and I even have some actual lingerie.

Which brings me to a side point that someone else mentioned and I figured I should talk about it. If sex is TMI for you, skip to the next paragraph!! Okay - sex is GREAT! I mean, I've always enjoyed sex, but for quite awhile before the surgery, I had NO sex drive. I just never felt like having sex. I still enjoyed it when I did have it, I just never felt much like having it. But now, it is so different! Not only do I have a normal sex drive, but the sex is better. Why? Well, for one thing, there are positions and stuff like that we can do now that we haven't been able to do in awhile. But now we can because I have lost so much weight. I don't know whether it is hormones or what, but the "grand finale" is much better too. Which of course makes me want sex more often, etc. So that is a great side effect of all of this - my husband thanks the surgeon every night!!

Back to the normal great stuff - in losing so much weight, I am beginning to literally and figuratively "find" myself. I am seeing parts of my body that I haven't seen in ages (not always a good thing, but the novelty is nice!). I am discovering my body and beginning to feel like we are friends again. For so long I felt like I battled my own body all the time - being sick all the time, all the problems and medications I was on, and the constant battle to lose weight with no results. But now I am beginning to feel like my body and I are working together and now that we are on the same side, I am beginning to actually be proud of my body - despite the imperfections. I feel like I earned those battle scars and that despite the abuse my body has endured, it is still here and we are on the right track now and my body is still going! I don't know how else to describe it. But I also am finding ME. The actual person and personality that has been smothered for so long under all that fat. I've begun to realize that I have a sense of style and individuality that is beginning to be reflected in my clothes - for so long it was all about the clothes that fit and would flatter as much as possible while still fitting in my budget. That doesn't really allow for style and personality. But now, I am discovering that I am pretty off beat. Maybe it is also a reaction to having to wear fat girl clothes for so long, which are often kind of older and dowdy, but I am really throwing that aside. I realized that I love the Rockabilly look (very old school, Bettie Page hair, pencil skirts, peep toe shoes, etc.) which I'm still not small enough to pull off, but I still like more edgy clothes and styles. I have begun to shop exclusively at Torrid. Now, there are a lot of clothes there that are not my style AND way too young for me, but there is a lot there that I really love. I am dressing younger and hipper. I painted my nails purple the other day!! Which, if you knew me, is pretty extreme. I was always so conservative. But I loved it. For my 32nd birthday in January, I got the top of my right ear pierced AND my nose pierced!! I have always wanted to get it done - I love the way it looks. But I always felt like I was too fat and too old. A mother of two who is 32 does NOT get her nose pierced. But when my husband found out that THAT was the reason I haven't done it, he was adamant that I was getting it done. That was my birthday present from him. He said, "Who says you are too old?? Who cares what anyone thinks?? You want to get it done, it would make you happy - what does anyone else's opinion matter??" It might be different if I worked at a very conservative job, but I don't!! I'm a stay at home mom and I'm going to college online for graphic design. My hubby said that my nose ring and new look are perfect for an "artsy" career. He said that looking young and being your own person and slightly unconventional will probably be a plus in my job field, when I get that far. So I am happy about that - I feel like I am developing my own style and learning all over again what I really like and what works for me.

Of course I am still busy with the kids - James is in third grade and he just had his 9th birthday party. Molly is about to start kindergarten in September (boo hoo!!:tt1:) and her 5th birthday party is in a month, which I am still trying to get my butt in gear and finish planning everything for. (Get my butt in gear - are we sensing a theme here??) Patrick is frustrated at his job, but we are actually all really happy. Life for our entire family has steadily improved since I got this surgery. It has changed our lives in so many ways - many of them unexpected.

So, that is about it for now. As usual, I'll end with -

I LOVE MY LAPBAND!!

WTG! That's great! When were you banded?