May 31, 2006 8:36pm (CST):

Well, it has been one week out since last week's banding (5/24/06) surgery.

A quick update since, 5/23/06. I woke up and met Germaine for some breakfast. He is a really great guy and hope some day to be a really special friend.

I went to see my dentist at Jefferson Dentist Clinic and found I have 5 old cavities that need to be drilled out and refilled due to decay around the fillings. Also, she wants to repair my bad tooth, replace the metal cap with a porcelain one. The teeth bleaching is working out good.

She wants to wait until I have my surgery and a few weeks to get the stomach/band in place -- doesn't want to upset it.

Went to the Trinity Medical Center Day Surgery unit to get all my prep done for the surgery tomorrow, 5/25.

The people were really nice and was done in about two hours.

WEIGHT (per D.S.J.): 392lbs.

I was tired and headed back home to take a nap before my sister and sister-in-law arrived. I am nervous meeting them. I haven't seen them in a year since I brought my mom's car I inherited back to Dallas, Tx.

Shawn and I went to DFW airport and found my sister, Sandy, and sister-in-law, Nancy at the baggage claim area. I teared up and let my emotions flow. It felt so good to have family in my arms, I miss my family so much. That is another story in its self.

They had to take the bus over to the Rent-a-car area. We decided to pick up a few things and head over to the hotel, InTown Suites. I decided to do my recovery there instead of the apartment. It was a mess and I didn't want to go through any crap stepping on something if I needed to get to bathroom or phone for any emergency.

Anyways, I went to Embassy Suites where Sandy and Nancy were staying. We chatted for several hours and we had a mild dinner in their room. I had vegetable soup -- tasted so good. It would be a while before I could have any thing like that again until the doctor/dietician say so.

NOTE: The conversation came across several things that I felt I had to confess to my sister and sister-in-law. I advised them that I was gay. Yes, if anyone but myself is reading this, I am gay. They were not shocked, but had an inkling I was. They didn't get upset or hate me. They said that they loved me no matter what.

That was a great weight off my shoulder and I had one more confession, but that is to come down the way.

It was 11pm and I kissed them both good night and would see them in the morning.

I cried when I got in the card because I had this on my heart/mind for over 40 years and it was finally gone -- no more guilt. Only thing I wish I had told my parents, but I am sure they know nowthat I am gay -- they are in God's loving arms.

I think I finally fell asleep about 2am and woke up at 4am, though I didn't need to get up until 5am. 2hrs sleep--that's it!

Well, it is 5:30am, Shawn and I are on the way to the hospital. I see the hospital as I drive up Josey Lane and it stands out as a monilith -- how many people has it seen come and go, and those who didn't make it.

Anyways, I arrived in a fairly good, but nervous mood. I sat down at the D.S.U. and announced my arrival.

The attendant motioned me over and I paid the $700.00 which covered my $500 deductible and my 20% of my share of the hospital costs. Strange that it said in the employee's guide for benefits that "surgical and non-surgical gastric (including morbid obesity)" is excluded. Well, guess what, other than Dr Frank Veninga's costs, UHC has paid all the costs--shhh! don't tell.

Anyways, I sat back down and was about 6:30am and I was called back to get prepped for my surgery. I asked Shawn to wait until Sandy, Nancy, and Pastor James Walker came in and when they did to send them and him to come back to my room.

I met with Sandy and Nancy at first and cried, I found it hard to have this surgery not knowing if I would survive it -- as with any surgery "death is a possiblity."

Nancy prayed with me and I felt much better. I thank God for her becoming a Christian. Amen!

Anyways, I was ready to reveal my last confession. I asked Nancy to leave so I could tell Sandy. I confessed to her that I was molested as a kid (at 11yrs old) by . She was upset and I asked to forgive me for not telling my family. :angry She forgave me. I asked her to bring Nancy in and I advised her of the molestation. She cried and asked if I had forgave this person. I advised her that I had been through therapy and had forgiven .

I advised them that I wanted to get anything off my mind and advised them of those two things that I had sought forgiveness or wanted to let them know -- in case I died during surgery.

Anyways, Pastor Walker came in and I asked the others to leave the room. I confessed what was on my heart and sought God's forgiveness. Pastor Walker talked to me and lead me in prayer. I gave him a really BIG hug as I really trust Pastor Walker. I was ready for the surgery.

From this point on, I remember talking to the anesthesiologist. He advised me of what would be done, asked if I was alergic to any anesthetics--advised no, and asked if he could do anything for me. I asked for a shot for my nervousness. He said I would get it shortly, before any anesthetics.

While I waited, a nurse came in and gave me my shot. It was a short time and I was out of it and asleep.

(I don't remember anything after that).

About two later (about 10am), I woke up droggy from the anesthetics, but I was thrashing about due to the pain and muttering "why did I have this surgery."

I guess I was given another shot of whatever knocked me out because I went back to sleep and woke up three hours later. I was in pain, but was given some mophine to handle it.

Sandy, Nancy, and Shawn were there and I began to cry, "I made it -- I didn't die." So, much worry even amid reassurances from many people, including my pastors, "...that everything would be fine." :confused:

Well, I was aware of things Sandy and Nancy told me about being taken to Dr Veninga's office and given a personal tour of the office. Also, that I would be held over night because I didn't have a CPAP -- my broke that prior weekend. Anyways, I must have dozed off as I don't very much until later that night.

Dr Veninga said that he was advised that my CPAP was broken and that I needed one before he'd let me be discharged. He arranged for the Lung Doctor, Dr Flewelyn. He arranged to have a CPAP (which belonged to the hospital) delivered so I could stay over night.

Of course, during the next 12hrs, I was visited every other hour by a nurse, doctor, or attendant. Anyways about 1am, I finally got my CPAP -- attendant didn't see it ordered on my paperwork. Anyways, with my morphine shots I gave myself (yeah!!!) and the CPAP I slept great -- except being woken up as I already stated.

The next morning, I awoke again to poking, proding, testing for oxygen in my breathing, and taking blood.

SURPRISE!! :hungry: I got coffee, clean chicken broth, sugar free Jello, and Apple Juice.

Which totally disgusted me -- as I wasn't hungry at the time. So, it sat there for a few hours just before lunch.

Anyways, Sandy and Nancy stopped by to say that they had a good night's sleep and had a Continental breakfast at the hotel. Sandy said that she had some other information from the doctor in what medicine I would be taking once I went home (or in this case the hotel).

Sandy told me that she had contacted my sleep doctor, Dr Nowara and left message that my CPAP was broken and needed to be replaced.

They left during my sleep times and I didn't see them as their plane left early the next morning.

Anyways, I received a call from Dr Nowara and explained what had happended. He authorized a sales person to come over and rent me a CPAP until after my sleep study -- scheduled on June 21, 2006 at his office at Baylor Hospital in Plano.

Dr Veninga stopped by and authorized my release pending my Lung Doctor's release too.

Well...about 2pm, the sales person arrived with a CPAP for me. After teaching me how to set it up and how to use it. I sleep for a couple more hours and was awaken by the day nurse that I was being discharged. I got dressed and was wheeled out of the hosptial to where Shawn picked me up in the Chevrolet Tracker.

We went to the InTown Suites, I slept most of the day and night. I had to becareful in the pain medicine I was taking. It was great I slept throughout the night, except to go to the bathroom several times.

I am going to skip Friday and Saturday, as I slept most of the day and night.

I will carry on in my next entry.

God Loves You!

I love you all,

Ron Sutton

5/31/06. 10:02pm.