Never thought I would see the day that I would be thankful to have a cold and no sense of taste! Sure makes it easy to eat right! I am trying really hard to not let myself think things like 'this time last year I was @ 173 (my lowest weight). I am trying to focus on what I need to do to get back there...or at least to 18something. So, had gotten up to 223 now I am back down to 216. About 30 more pounds to re-lose. Not as easy as the first time when I when I smoked.

Truth of the matter is I had gotten very depressed when I realized that i would more than likely NOT be able to have a TT done any time soon. It was a real downer to realize that after all the hard work I did to lose the weight, when I got undressed, I still looked horrible with the sagging apron...I felt like I did it for nothing. Depressing. So depressing that I was sent in a downward spiral of not really caring anymore. So, I ate, and ate, and ate. Now, looking back on it, knowing what I know now, how I look now....I looked great. TT or no TT. When I first lost the weight I felt invinsible. I was happ, energetic, proud of myself (THAT is the big one). I want that feeling again. I will have that feeling again. May take longer getting there than before, but that is OK. The time will pass anyway and at least I will spend it working towards my goal. That is alot better than the other alternative, that is...letting the time pass and realizing later that I am the same or worse off than I am now.

Time for me to be my own hero..again :scared2:

i was reading your blog and im just a little confused. Are you banded? If you are how did you gain the weight back??? I hope you can take this weight off i know how depressing it can be.

Yes, I was banded on 4/11/07....had the band almost a year, quit smoking, gained 40something pounds back and am relosing it now. How did I gain weight? Easy, eat foods that I should not eat...ice cream, candy, cookies, chips, enchiladas....self destructed. Be careful, it happens to the best of us. :scared2:

oh really, if you saw you were gaining weight why didn't you get a fill or something like that?

(response to last comment)

We have surgery on our stomach not our brain. So if you haven't worked out the 'why' of self destructive eating the weight will come back. I've found my band a reminder of sorts. Im still working on my 'whys' which is why my weight loss has slowed (hell it's stopped most of the time). I wish it was as easy as-put the band on and stop eating bad food- but it's not.

Tracy-Just keep working the band and staying on top of what you eat. You know what it feels like to have lost, it will happen again. This time you will know how easy it can all go down the tubes and be mindful of your choices.

Good work!!

Amanda

Ashleyb-The band is a tool and not a cure...always remember that. When I got a slight unfill after I quit smoking it was a conscious decision. I knew I could not go without tasty food and give up cigarettes. I had smoked for over half my life and unless you have ever smoked & then quit you will never be able to understand. I knew I would gain some weight back, just not this much. So...now its time to fix what I broke! I will do it, heck I already am!

Thanks Amanda...I needed that!