So here it is, a tuesday night. I'm getting ready for bed, but I'm frustrated....with just about everything in my life. My boyfriend is in town and I love him, I know that, but I'm beginning to question is I'm IN love with him anymore.....? He's my best friend, but he's sooo agrivating! When he says he's coming to see me, I'd really rather tell him to keep his butt at home, but I know I can't do that to him. He's been pretty much fantastic to me, but we are soo different! Why am I feeling this way? What's wrong with me? We've dated for 3 years now and talked about marriage, and now ...I'm home, for good, love being here, love my Dad, after all the problems with my sisters and their men I sit here and wonder if I even want to get married....? Why is life so complicated??? :toetap05: My Dad's out of town with his girlfriend, and of course everything around here goes to crap. All of a sudden we're getting snow and ice, our cows are knocking down fences, my uncle (God bless his heart, but he's lost his mind and needs to retire) is about like asking a 3 year old to do stuff around a farm....My friend Lauren called, her mom and hubby got into another fight. This time the cops got called, and he got taken to jail. The judge told her mom that it was her fault he hit her, HER FAULT!? WTF? Because she threatened to break his cell phone if he came any closer to her, boy did he, he got so close his fist touched her face! :confused: So not only am I dealing with the usual crap from my sisters, not having a job and bills piling up, I've been sick, my boyfriend is driving me crazy, my dad's out of town and everything is going to crap on the farm, my friend's mom was beaten by her husband, and yet, all I want is to lose weight.......Which while sick apparently now viruses kill my appetite, so I apparently stalled my weight loss because I couldn't make myself eat near enough during the day. I'm down 28 pounds, right at 300 pounds now, and dieing to get under it! But haven't had the time or energy since I've been sick to really exercise. figures. I feel like I'm running and running, and doing all that I can for everyone else but it's never enough. Why am I second guessing my boyfriend? Why do I feel like everything is hopeless in life? To top it all off, I really want to take a little vacation in march or july but I don't know if I'll be able to because of money, but yet my cousins apparently have money to blow and go gamble like every weekend....What's wrong with me? Why is it bothering me what they do? Are all of my questions just me being an unusually worrysome form of myself or is this part of that rollercoaster that's part of having the band? I just feel frustrated and angry right now, and I'm not sure why. I've lost 28 pounds, and I hope to go have another fill soon....so we'll see. Maybe this will just go away.