A continuation of my journey
I am SO ready for Tuesday! February 3, 2009 is going to be the first day of the rest of my life. I realize that most people consider that the day that they get married, but that did not apply in my marriage... as we are divorced... HAPPILY I might add!
Anyway, words cannot begin to express how excited I am about this endeavor. I have shared my struggles with nobody... and I mean NOBODY, not even my bestest friend in the whole wide world. I have kept this battle to myself for many years. And now, I'm finally taking my life back. I was SO afraid that I may not qualify, since I don't have diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, or any conditions that warrant impending death. I honestly thought I was too "healthy" to qualify.
But today, I took a very brave step. I did something that I have not done in over a year... I stepped on a scale. Now, I realize that most people will see a higher number and cry. But for me, seeing a high number gave me a sense of excitement... because now, I qualify by my weight alone!!!
On February 3, I am going to a Seminar. The first step into Band Land. I'm going to be able to receive more information (as if my many late night rendezvous' with Google were not enough), and I will be able to have all of my questions answered. And the best part... I don't have to travel for hours or out of state to have it done. This place is here... in Lafayette!!! Hollaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
I'm looking into getting The Lap Band™ . I have spent months researching the possibilities. Reading up on surgery options, watching video footage of surgeries, hearing / reading testimonials, and now, joining discussions forums, I feel prepared.
I have gotten to the point that I am physically, emotionally, mentally, and psychologically prepared for this surgery. I'm SO ready to take my life back. To be out of constant pain that comes from having this extra weight on my body. To be free from the affliction of back pain, knee pain, hip pain, ankle pain, and breasts that are the sizes of large cantelopes... no kidding!
To be able to wear jeans again, to see my feet when I stand up, to have ankles again instead of cankles. To be able to run or jog without my breasts beating me up. To have a bone structure, no more double chin, and for God's sake, to no longer be able to get away with parking in the Expected Mom's parking spaces at Toy's R Us! *I know it's wrong, but I get away with it*
Finally, to be able to have a sense of pride in myself. To know that I'm going to finally beat this, after years of fighting this losing battle. To feel that I've accomplished something great. To be able to have a sense of comfort, knowing that I will be healthier, and happier. I will be around longer, to watch my kids grow, and to hopefully see my grandkid (and even great grandkids).
I want to be able to toss my bottles of anti-depressants and nexium, never to depend on these medications again. To no longer suffer from constant constipation and hemorrhoids. Yea, I know it's detailed, but ya know what? It's part of my everyday life. If you're thinking about doing this... don't do it on a spur of the moment. Really think, research, pray, and research some more. You definitely want to be fully educated and know what you're getting yourself into.
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