So as of today, I'm down 24 lbs. Which is great don't get me wrong. :Banane37: But, it's such a slow process, and of course I woke up yesterday sick! :cheatfree: AHHK! So, who wants to workout when they feel like crud? I've layed around all day and done almost nothing, same yesterday, even though I made myself get up and do some cleaning both days, a little taebo yesterday (although that made breathing next to impossible so I couldn't do much) and tonight just some little strength training exercises; no real stressors though. :Banane37: I know I'm eatting less....I don't know the calorie count because my dietician told me to worry more about what I ate at this point, like keeping my fat intake down and my sugar intake low as well and of course get the protein in.....so I have been. I have yet to intentionally break my diet! :cheatfree: (my sister did trick me the other night with mac and cheese, of all things she put sugar in it!!! ) Which makes me feel really good but I just fear each time I step on the scales that my weight is going to go up and not down. I can handle the scale not moving, but to go up right now, even though I know that sometimes you're body will retain some before allowing a decent loss, like go up a 1/2 pound...but I feel like I'm not doing anything! It's like this is too easy, and it can't possibly work....???? That just like every other diet I've been on, my weight loss is going to plateau and then stop and I'll gain it all back and more, and after paying all this money, and going through this surgery I just don't think I could handle it. It's like dangling a piece of bacon infront of a dog who hasn't eatten in 2 weeks...ya know? I feel like it's taunting me, even though how could it be? I control it! It's my tool, the only thing standing in my way right now, is me...even though I'm trying..hard. I'm glad to be down 24 pounds, but I feel like I need another fill, ya know? It's not tight enough I'm still snacking a little and definitely eatting more than what they want me to at meals.:iagree: So what do I do? Right now I don't have the money to go join the gym like I know I need to, I don't have a job, I'm basically just a babysitter, receptionist, farm manager for my family farm which don't get me wrong, I love working on the farm, and so far the pay is good! lol Dad let's me live rent free, buys groceries and pays my bills, but he's strapped for money and I guess with everything going on, I just need to step back and take a deep breath and keep trucking it....here's a kicker, which I guess I should expect, but even though I've lost 24 lbs and most of the times before when I've lost that much you could tell at least a little, this time no one can see it. I feel a small difference in my jeans, maybe a small difference in my face, but otherwise, nothing. Where'd the weight fall off at? Oh well.....hopefully as I just keep plugging away at it, I'll feel better and hopefully soon get another fill.