Okay I know that I should be flattered with all of the attention. I am happy that people can tell that I have lost weight. But I find myself getting a little pissy about some of the comments. I know they all mean well. There is this lady at work that compliments me, “You are looking so skinny…now promise me you won’t gain it back.” Like I ever lost weight and PLANNED to put it back on. It wasn’t bad until about the 10th time she said it in two weeks.

Then there is this other guy that just kept going on today about how good I looked and how skinny I am getting and how dedicated I am. Sure, I know I shouldn’t complain, but he just kept going on about how he just couldn’t BELIEVE how skinny I am.

Okay let’s clear the air here. I am NOT SKINNY!!! I am not even half way to goal. I weigh 226.9 and that is the weight some people are when they are banded. My butt is still plenty big and I have big ‘ol fat rolls. I am happy how well things are going and I know that people who weigh what I did when I started or more may be wondering what I am complaining about.

I guess it seems like people are saying “WOW your fat butt looks skinny compared to how crappy you looked before! ….So as fat as you are now you know how huge you used to look!”

I know this might sound stupid, but a “Hey you look good!” is a big enough compliment for me. Friends are different. I don’t mind that so much, but co-workers that you don’t see outside of work….It might be different if I was skinny. You know another 70 pounds from now. (ok maybe even 50 pounds)

I was very nice and tell them thank you, but today it just kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

Sorry, I needed to vent. It happens every once in a while.

Compliments are hard to get used to about your appearance when you're used to the other kind of attention. I know how you feel as I've been thinner a few times now. Now, aren't you glad you chose not tell about the LB...more opinions/attention!

Hi JulieAnn. Hey you look good! lol. You really do though(I saw your pics in the one forum), great job! As far as the "now promise me you won't gain it back" comment. I would plan for the next time. Maybe tell her, Thank you for your flattery but I make no promises to anyone but myself when it comes to my weight.

And the "skinny" word is just not a word that I want to ever describe me. I strive to be "fit".

Vent anytime you want, that's what we're here for

Hey girl, sorry u had a rough day. I can relate to that. After I had my 17 month old and was out on leave for 3 months. I lost a lot of weight because I was breast feeding. And when I cam back to work I still was eating a lot and everyone at work knows how much I eat. So this one girl keep saying to me everytime she saw me getting. U going to gain it back, you going to gain your weight back. She gotten on my nerves. I forgot what I told her, and yes I gain it all back and then some.

People say things to us not knowing how it affects us. Especially if we are overweight and losing the weight. With that Im extra senstive because I know how easy it is to gain it back. I guess that's why I didn't tell anyone about the lapband because if I fail. I don't have to hear people say and you went through all that....bla....bla...bla....just to gain your weight back.

Feel free to vent anytime my friend!

Hello all, for those of you who have been banded. Have you told your family and friends?

Thanks BG and Michellelei and Sarah!

...that's what friends are for...understanding.

Normorespandex - My husband was the first and most important person that helped me make the decision....or agreed to support me once I made the decision. My doctor....I just told him because I thought I would need his help. I didn't because I ended up being self pay. I told my best friend about a month or two after I had it done. I haven't told anyone else. I plan to tell my family when I get closer to goal and talk to them about getting the band.

Hi all, just got an adjustment and found this site. Have been livin the banded life for 3 years, and still rely on it. I know w/o it I would not be healthy.

M

Oh, you're so much nicer than I am. Once upon a time when I'd lost a bunch of weight and then put it all back on, a co-worker said, "What in the world made you gain all that weight back?" I replied, "Oh, I don't know. I guess I got tired of being drop dead gorgous." I really do belive that most of the time people don't mean anything by what they say, but sometimes...sometimes, you can't convince me that they don't know exactly what they're saying, and I'd tell anyone who saying, "Your going to gain that weight back," to mind their own damn business. Sometimes it feels, oh so good, to let 'em have it!

How bout this one. I am a server at a popular restaurant where one of my regulars called me over to tell me "wow, now you look like a normal person, oh you know what I mean" i responded, " i know I was a fake person before" that shut her up. then " wow, your apron hangs straight down and doesnt stick out anymore" wow gee thanks.. get some class people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The hardest part about the lapband or any other weight loss for me is comments from others. I am a very straight forward person so I just tell people because they make comments about how little I am eating.

Bottom line, We are fat because of something within us that makes us eat. People without weight problems dont understand. I am not trying to be thin just healthy. I guess the best answer to people and their comments is to understand that they dont understand.

Hi! I was banded on December 22,08 and so far I lost 26 pounds! I feel really good! I also had my first feel yesterday January 28.09 and I plan to lose maybe another 26 pounds this month especially with the fill! I am a teacher and my coworkers have been very supportive thank goodness except when one day maybe a week after my surgery this coworker of mine had said, "wow '09 is surely agreeing with u, ur looking good and skinny" and all i did was say thank u but there was another coworker beside him and he said" Skinny where?" That right there was what set me off! So that drove me to prove that I can do this and I don't need people like that to tell me otherwise!!!

stupid people. stupid comments. small minded people. You go Ms. Marie!

Sorry you had to go through that JulieAnn but I'm glad to hear that you are doing so well. I read one of your blogs from today and you mentioned something about a super bow party good luck with that..You also made a very good point for me about the starting weight I will be banded on 3/10/09 and my starting weight is 223 lbs. My goal weight is 140 lbs hopefully I will be able to lose the type of weight you have loss so far. I wanted to do it a few yrs ago but I was not able to pay for the surgery and now I have insurance that covers it so hopefully this is my time. I have also found that there are people that have to say negative comments to others to make them feel better about themselves. Keep up the good work!

I feel you, I hear every day from co-workers and family how fat I am getting. I am so tired of hearing it. People act as though you can drop the weight just by thinking it. They tell me these things as if I do not know it. Some are as big as I am but think they aren't. I was so tired of hearing it along with me hating the weight gain myself. That's what brought me to the band on 22 Jan 09. I have only told two people. the rest just know I had herina repair. I get no support at home with this.

I want to do as well as you have, but with out support I am not sure it if well do well. Keep up the great work. you inspire me.

I do have support from my husband in so much as I talk to him and he listens. That is what I need and this sight gives me the rest of the support I need. I don't know if I will ever tell the people I work with.

You can do it sarge!

I can relate to this also Marie. I give it right back to them," Oh I don't think I will, do you? When I've got all this great support and positive feedback , from people like you. Or, I make up statistics, like, " statistics show there are at least one obese women in every office, I wonder who will be taking my place"! I find laughter is the best medicine . And I have found tons of humo , in what comes out of the mouths of ignorant, rude, and self absorbed people. Don't let anyone that shallow rob you of one once of your joy. You will succeed, and don't let anyone tell you differently !

"I'll be glad to shed these extra pounds as soon as you shed your stupidity - let's race and see who gets there faster."

No matter what people say or think you need to get into a place where the only opinions that matter are yours. We all got fat on our own and we are the only ones who can stop this unhealthy eating and life with all kinds of health issues. Grab a hold of yourself and hold your head up high. Believe in yourself. You are the captain of your destiny.

Okay, so I know I'm over a year since this was posted, but you SO made me laugh!

If you are like me, weight loss is a personal choice and a personal issue. It feels invasive when others try to get too intimate or want too many details (in my case, that's my mother-in-law, and yuck). People who say "don't gain it all back", I think, are negative people trying to dump their "stuff" on you. If it were me, I'd say (only half-jokingly) "Wow, that's really...supportive?" to through them off guard and discourage their future dumb comments.

My mother in law, who is heavy, has harangued me about my weight for years. I was thin when first dating her son, then gradually gained. She started, no kidding, within the first 10 lbs I gained, and got progressively worse in her intrusion and nagging. I finally had to have a 'back off" conversation with her. So now, she tries to back off which makes it slightly better. I didn't want to tell her I was getting banded because I knew it would open the door, but she watched our son the night before surgery, and he knew, so I told her. Now it's "how much have you lost?" "Are you still losing?" etc. Ugh.

Now, I have to put up with her. You shouldn't have to put up with coworkers who are full of insensitive remarks.

Good luck to you. Kick those turkeys in the rear.

Great Blog and comments I have been hanging at a great loss of 97 pounds but have not lost any weight in about 4 weeks. I get "are you still trying to lose?" Like heck yes!! Then they tell me what I should be doing!! LOL They do not know and I am not telling. I have been trying to let it go in one ear and out the other. Wishing Good luck to me and everyone else in this position where others feel the need to tell us what and how to do it. I am creating my own destiny one meal at a time. Thanks for sharing imaluckydog