In one hour my husband's alarm will go off and I'll take a quick shower while he and our roomie enjoy their coffee. I don't begrudge them the java, but I do wish I could have some. Then we'll all three drive across town to the hospital.

Thanks to the call from my surgeon, I know I'll report to have a PIC line (sp) installed. Maybe they'll put the Heparin in through that, maybe I'll have to endure another shot in my belly.

I keep chanting to myself, "You can do this. You've been through so much to get this far. One more day. You can do this..."

I'm exercising every bit of self-control I've ever had to proverbially put one foot in front of the other and smile like nothing's bothering me despite the hunger of two days without solid food and a raging thirst. Amazing how pre-surgery nerves can turn even a strong-minded person like me into a internally gibbering wreck.

I'm keeping my eye on the prize-- the picture of me I'm using here. I weighed about 175 when that was taken. I want to look like that again. I will lose the weight that has dragged me down for fifteen years and destroyed my health.

I'm even better now than I was then. I've quit smoking, achieved my dream of being published, and I have a lovely home in Florida. The only thing holding me back has been my weight and the health issues it brought with it.

Will things be champagne and caviar after surgery? I hope not. Can't stand the stuff for one thing. (grin) No, but I won't have the anchor of ill health holding me down. I'll still be here in my little home office, typing out stories to entertain and amuse for as long as my muse stays. But, maybe once in awhile I'll go scuba diving again and not be afraid to be seen in a bathing suit. That would be nice.

Lena

I wish you the best of luck. I am due to be banned on Feb 5th and I am excited but a little nervous also. Keep us posted on your post op!

Lena- I've been thinking of you all day and hope it's all going well. Check back in and let us know how you're doing! -BG