It's official!!! I'm a hypocrit!!! I posted a blog before Christmas that this year was going to be different. This year I was in control. I wasn't!!!

Was it exactly like the years before? Not by a long shot. Compared to years past, I was a total Angel but as a New Bandster I was the devil en carnet and I gained 8 pounds out of it!

I really don't see how that's possible but scales don't lie.

I always want to be the positive friend who people can count on to talk them off the ledge. I know that it's ok that sometimes I find myself on the ledge but sometimes I worry if the band will work for me. By all counts, it's been amazing but I lived my entire life as a big girl. I have always been the girl that everyone thinks is nice and sweet but completely overlooked by men and women. I have always been the biggest person in the room and always compared myself to the "pretty" girls who just seem to have people who compete for their attention.

Several weeks ago I was at a business meeting and found myself alone for most of the time. Although I had many people stop and say hi to me and chit chat for a minute or two, I just haven't connected with anyone who wants a fat friend.

Sometime I envision when I lose my weight how differently people will respond to me and I can't help but be a little sad.

When my mom saw me at Christmas she kept saying "I can't believe how pretty you are". Finally I said "because I lost 50 pounds suddenly I became pretty? I have always looked like this!" I could tell my mom could see how uncomfortable I was with her comments and finally stopped making a fuss.

Back to me allowing myself to get off track for Christmas...I ate everything. I didn't prepare because I was short on time and I didn't journal anything. Somehow I spiraled out of control and 4 days and 8 pounds later, I'm trying to get my control back.

Today I had 1750 calories. I don't have a lot of restriction but as I get more fills I know my calorie intake will decrease. Right now I can eat pretty much anything and everything BUT I have never went over 2000 calories in a day except for Christmas of course.

I got myself out of bed this morning and exercised. I plan to do a 30 minute walk 5 days a week. I started to journal my food today, so I feel like I'm moving in the right direction.

Good luck to everyone!!!

I totally know what you mean. I was out of control over the holidays too, but now I'm back in control. I'm getting ready to go to the gym today. It's my first day back in 3 weeks. I too am planning on going 5-6 days a week. This is our year to take this weight off!

Good for you!!!! I, too, fell off the wagon atChristmas, New Years and we dont even want to talk about Thanksgiving. I finally smacked myself (not literally) and said 'look girl, you have come too far to start messin' us now. Get you act together I have started back working out and as of tomorrow, I will start on the 5 day pouch test because I know I need to start over. Back to liquids for a few days to get myself together. I am glad you have found the err of your ways and have decided to "ride it out". Good luck and be encouraged!!!!