Soooooo? How are you doing with all the food this holiday?

I feel terribly guilty telling all you banders (pre-band here, just trying to maintain) that I gained a full two pounds since this holiday season began and I know, I know, the holidays ‘aint over yet! If that’s any indication of the fun I’ve had then I’m having a great time…and I know, I know…time to redefine fun! I am becoming aware how much food and fun are integrated into my life. Actually I didn’t think I went totally crazy with the food; at least not as crazy as I normally would have. I did savor all those items that I knew I probably won’t be able to eat again post-band. Like the HUGE ball of sticky sage stuffing at Christmas dinner. This stuff-stuffing gets ‘stuck’ in my normal stomach (you could stucco walls with it), so I’m sure this won’t work next year. I’m pretty sure I even broke the family cardinal rule of ‘Never eat anything bigger than your head’ at that meal (the whole meal, not just the stuffing). This rule is just a joke between us, but I think I ACTUALLY broke it…Yep, I’ve also become acutely aware of the amount of food I can pack in with no problem. It’s kinda like playing ‘Biggest Loser’ when they show contestants what they normally ate in one day and they act so surprised…if you go along never paying attention, then you can’t fully appreciate the change you need to make. I still can’t believe I’ll ever be satisfied with a cup of food or less…it sounds like magic or a miracle to me right now.

So in this pre-op period where I'm trying to lose a few pounds. I'm trying to do what I can to prepare and one thing I have been trying to work on is the whole ‘awareness’ thing. It’s becoming quite the head game I found I’ve been playing…trying to pay attention to the massive amounts I can eat…trying to listen to my stomach…I’ve found I’m rarely actually hungry when I eat (that’s what happens when you’re eating all the time even when you’re full). Of course, I usually don’t catch myself before I eat yet…sometimes I’m taking my last bite of something and I’ll suddenly think “Why the heck did you just eat that? I don’t even remember getting the food!” Mindless eating…again! And OMG I’m AMAZED at how many food, exercise and diet/diet drug commercials are on TV (and now Lap Band ones too)! I guess this is the season for new diets and new resolutions. Can I just say here that I tip my hat to all of you who have gotten banded in the last few months, NO…I bow down to you...I think it would be particularly hard this time of year…I’d have to turn the TV off or get Tivo so I could skip all the commercials!

Anyway, I’m hoping that starting this ‘awareness’ now will help me some with the transition to the band…it can’t hurt, right? One of my biggest fears is the ‘head hunger’ thing and getting through that. As a pro-dieter (as in ‘very experienced’, not ‘in favor of’) I know first hand how hard that part can be…I can lose lots of weight, I just can’t keep it off. While dieting I always felt like I was starving and all I thought about was food, or tracking food, or weighing food, or planning meals with food, or buying food, or exercising so I could burn more calories so I could have another bite of food…you get the picture. I’m soooooo praying that the Lap Band will help extinguish that hunger and even more, the obsession. I’m hoping by next Christmas that I’ll have good restriction and food will no longer be in control…I’ll be about 6 mo. post-op then. See?...I’m also trying to get my head around how long it will probably take to get the band working for me! So there’s another thing I need to work on…realistic expectations. Time for new rules...like ‘Never eat anything bigger than your fist' (or is that too big)?