Shall we dance?

It occurred to me while being on HOLD with my insurance company that I am an I.D. to them. A subscriber. So far this subscriber has done everything prescribed to jump the hoops one step closer to the belly dance.

So far I've had the ignorant, prejudiced dietician with the health department tell me I need to learn more self control. She also felt the need to tell me this procedure could kill me. And my lap band procedure relates to 12 grapes with carbs how??? She never did mention the food groups but did find time to reveal what she was really thinking, well...you could tell she was thinking it. That all fat people just haven't enough will power. That's it. When it comes right down to it we choose not to turn away from a wrong food choice and it's all our fault that we are obese and we deserve every heart attack, stroke and disease that comes our way. She isn't alone. You can almost see it on the faces of some folks. The way they look at someone who is heavy. No, strike that, let's just call it fat. Not "large, plump, round, PLUS (that's one of my favorites)". It's fat. Let's just come on out with it.

and my feet hurt, my back hurts, my legs hurt, my shoulders hurt.

I dream of a year from now when I can walk comfortably.

I dream of the day when I can run.

I dream of the day when I can cover the distance and not breath heaving with each inhale.

I have taken a vow to not forget these moments of my life as they are and have been for the past 20 years. The slow rise on the scale. The first time I hit 300. "Don't ever hit 300" she told me in 1993. That was 13 years ago. I past that number a long time ago.

So Linda, I didn't listen. Dad, I guess your heart attack didn't hit me hard enough despite the panic disorder it left me with. Grandmother, your diabetes ate away at you, like Pop, losing his legs, but this food addiction has me so hard by the throat I must resort to drastic measures. I must not be the first.

United States Patent 5226429

A gastric band adapted for laparoscopic placement around the stomach and a method for deploying the band is described. The band is useful for creating a small pouch with a reinforced stoma in the stomach for the treatment of obesity. A first cannula is introduced into the abdominal cavity. Following gas insufflation, a camera for observing the placement of the band is introduced into the abdominal cavity by means of the first cannula. Two additional second and third cannulas are placed within the abdomen.