I really am a nice, affectionate, caring guy and those who know me best could not imagine me as anything but so. There is no bit nor ounce of me which is cruel, mean, or petty in any shape form or way. Because of this, I am doomed and condemned through so much of life, pained and aggravated by the frustrations of truth and bitterly aching realities. I feel so contorted and distorted too much of the time, dragged down and beaten by the insistent ironies and troubling turmoils of life.

It takes way too much courage and strength to be a profoundly effectively nice person in spite of all the odds against finding true love.

People tend to think of the simply good as lacking in proper character and will, that someone who dares to go beyond human bindings in heart and soul is actually someone weak, bland, uninteresting or strange, bizzare, crazy. They feel disconcertingly weird when someone rhapsodizes them in unconditional adoration. Because any admirer must inherently be human, and refuse to allow the transcendent emotion of others to conduit with our more vulgar realities. They feel that unexplained, perhaps even undeserving affection is not specific enough to them, that it might as well not be showered upon any one at all.

Perhaps in the abstract view of life it could and should; but to find some nexus of actuality where the invisible potentials for genuine relation can connect in a spark of splendor is truly too great to give up on altogether. The challenge, really, is to try to learn what we can through the pain of an open existence that we may better tune and temper our souls to the multi-dimensional music subtly discernable amid the cacophony of mutual living.

Dude you lost me at doomed.

Sounds like you're having a tough time. I think.

I just looked at your pics over on your profile and you look like a happy guy. Just know that whatever is happening will pass. Hey, Happy New Minute!!

How is your journey with the band going? Keep us posted, OK?

Amanda