Tonight my family and I went out to eat for my Dad's 65th birthday. It was a good meal and generally a good time...except...

My brother-in-law doubts me. I told him that though I am not being banded till the 19th next week (while I have been working on it) I am going to cut drinking during meals completely, and make sure I'm taking a long time to eat, and really chewing my food. I really want to be ready for the surgery to make this life alterring transition as smooth as possible. He laughed at me and told me I wouldn't do it. I don't like what he did but that didn't bother me to terribly, I don't generally care what he says. But then, the surgery was brought up to my Dad's girlfriend, and from her facial expressions you could tell that she doesn't approve of my getting the band. Which I suspected all along as to the reason why my Dad may not fully support this decision...but I need his support. I was talking to my 15th yr old neice Ashleigh on the way home about the fact that this isn't just some little surgery, ohh I'll heal and all will go back to normal, this is changing my life! And how much I need my family's support on this! We both started crying and so I guess even though I haven't been banded yet, infact I still have a few weeks, I guess my emotional rollercoaster has begun. Here's to the final countdown. And praying that I get the support I need to help me properly use my tool, even though I'm determind I know the road will get rough, I know that this is going to be hard, and I just need them to help me through it. :thumbup:

What's kind of messed up is that I feel that there are some people just comfortable with us being fat. They are used to us in that role and don't want change. Even if they love us and have good intentions. One of my friends was very negative when I brought it up, so I didn't tell her when I had the surgery scheduled. I'd talk to you dad one on one and tell him how much this means to you and how you need his support. You'll find out that there are alot of people who will support you 100% on this and the others you will just have to prove them wrong!!

Thanks for the comment Trina, I agree completely with you. I talked to my Dad, and he supports me, but he says he's still just unsure this is what I need and as his daughter he hates to see me go under the knife. But you are totally correct that people are comfortable with seeing us this way, and it bothers me that while I really care for Jeremy, that he may not be attracted to me afterwards or the changes we may go through because of my surgery may split us, but I suppose that's part of the gamble. It also bothers me that if he and I don't end up together, and I do find another guy who accepts me for who I am then, will he be ashamed of who I was, because being fat has made me who I am..ya know?