I decided to blog my thoughts and feelings because so many intrude my mind and try to steal my joy from my current success. Sometimes I am so happy with my loss, other times, I cant help but to put myself down for the failures. I have always been too hard on myself and this experience is no different. Yes, I have lost 49 pounds in two months but why isnt that good enough for me? Im wondering if my sense of competiveness and the need to do above level is tainting my ability to have joy in my success. This last week as been quite the struggle for me emotionally. I have been very frustrated because the scale had me down last week and losing and this week it has me up 5 pounds. I didnt have my bp meds which include a diuretic and my legs got very swollen and still are a little. but after a week of takin them, you would think it would be gone and id be back down to where i was but that isnt the case. Im still up 4 pounds! Needless to say, I am feeling like a huge failure right now. I really wanted to be in the 210s by my husband christmas party which is on dec 12 but I dont see that happening. On the brighter side, I dont always feel this way, just sometimes, its like my mind switches into negative mode and all I can do is focus on the bad. The positive I must focus on today. Ive lost alot of weight in two months, Ive dropped to a 24 to an 18 pants and I look so much better than what I did before. I knew this journey would be hard for me emotionally. I knew my mind would try to play tricks on me. But for now, let us all be celebrative of our successes. Let us reflect on the new us, the one we have become and will be.

I want to ask you how much you way now and how will way 210 make you so much better. Trust me the people in ur husbands x-mas party will not notices the extra feww lbs you lose but they will definately notice the 50 lbs you already lost. You are doing great n i hope to be a successful as you in my journey. Feel better n by the way u look great

Hi, I do the same thing, instead of being proud of myself and my accomplishments, 48 lbs and exercising at the gym 5 days a week. I focus on the bad stuff, the days that arent so perfect, how much more I could be down right now if I stuck completely to my plan. SO I can totally relate to your blog and agree that we should be proud of ourselves. Without this surgery I would NEVER had lost more than 5 lbs. Believe me, congrats girl., you will get to your xmas goal, we just have to refocus, you are already doing fantastic. I was banded on 7/29 in boston. GOod luck Kirsty

Good job so far!! I'm sure we all get the negative thoughts that pop in....yuck I hate those. Have you been keep a log of your success through pictures? Sometimes we look in the mirror and see the "old" us and not what we have become. You have alot to be proud of....you've done the HARD part....choosing to have the surgery in the first place is the biggest step. Take it easy on yourself. Sometimes when I start to get hard on myself, I ask myself "if this were a friend going through this, what would I tell her?" Keep thinking positive thoughts and soon the negative ones will be a distant memory. You go girl!!