Hi everyone, or should I say anyone:frown:? (Doesn't seem that anyone reads my blogs.) Oh well, they are still good for me to reflect.

I am having some difficulty with having NO RESTRICTION! I didn't feel that I was overeating, although I haven't been writing every mouthful down, and when I got on the scale this morning, well, it says I gained 7 lbs.over the weekend!:cool: I KNOW EVERYONE'S FIRST THOUGHT. It is water retention. The problem with that theory is I have had VERY SWELLED ANKLES ALL THE TIME, in the past. I have not had this problem ever since surgery which has been an unexpected, wonderful surprise. One would think that if water retention is back, so would the swelled ankles. They are not.

Soooo, let's do some self examination. On the positive, I joined the gym and I am committed to it(worked out on Friday& this morning):thumbs_up:My diet...uhhm, ok.... I enjoy social drinking on weekends. Haven't had any since surgery, until... Stayed home Friday night, had 2 white russians(with 1% milk), just looked up the cal count~each were 350 cal:sneaky:. I made spaghetti for supper~homemade sauce using splenda to sweeten a little/60, low carb noodles/190cal, and venison hamburg(its low in fat/180cal). I have no restriction, so I ate probably much more than should of but still less than my old self. Saturday>I made eggs and bacon/240cal(I had my granddaughter overnight & she doesnt eat much but LOVES eggs&bacon), then had spaghetti leftovers for lunch/430 cal. I ate a baked chicken breast for supper/200cal, then we went out to our club with friends and I drank. Trying to keep cal/carbs low, I first had a diet coke&rum(1st time since surgery that I drank soda, no excuses, just forgot)70cal. My hubby reminded me then and I was glad because I HATED the drink. Next I drank a Bay Breeze(coconut rum, pineapple jc, cranb jc), I love sweet drinks and thought this 1 would be kinda good for me. Because it's sweet, I also thought it would be extremely high in calories, looked it up, only 160 cal. Then my g/f bought me 2 "applesauce" shots:crying:, 150cal ea. By this time, I was really in the drinking mood so I had my hubby go to Rutter's(a mini mart)to get diet iced tea. I asked and was allowed to bring in our own drink to mix with the clubs alcohol. So I had "diet" ice picks rest of night(about 6 shots of vodka)=around a whopping 500 more calories. So, now that I do the math, I added 1030cal just from drinks!:sad:Before we left, I ate 2 hot dogs they had on the grill(because they looked sooo good and were a buck/300cal)2200cal all together. On Sunday, we went BACK to the club for a "shrimp feed". I got a doz steamed shrimp/60cal, shrimp salad/220cal, potato salad/160cal, 1c shrimp bisque/240cal and a red beet egg/80cal. Then I got 1 drink because someone had it and it "looked good", a dirty girl scout(coffee liquer,cream de menth, baileys& vodka with milk)/340cal.(It was delicious) It makes the fact that I drank 2 full glasses of lemon water not mean much:sad_smile:. Later that night, I had more of my leftover spaghetti/430cal. And for snack, I had another pop/100cal. WOW! Not to mention the things I may have eaten & just don't remember. Ok. I get why I didn't LOSE. But really. Is all the above 7 POUNDS worth??! Actually, I am soo embarrassed when I write down my calorie intake. I did not realize what I do to myself.

I go back to my job after 3 wks off on Wednesday. I go for my first fill on 11/25, 2 days before Thanksgiving. I NEED the RESTRICTION. That is soo obvious. Drinking may be out of the question. Maybe I will "reward" myself with a drinking night out after every 50lbs lost. I am not sure yet. But I MUST GET MYSELF back on track...even before the fill...I cannot afford to go backwards. Do I intentionally sabotage myself? I am sooo good at analyzing everyone else(they always come to me for advice) but am HORRIBLE at it for me:embaressed_smile: Any advice?

Can't worry about the past like this. You didn't get banded to be miserable. We are all here for these reasons. However, they didn't do surgery on our brains, did they? It's hard work and it'll be worth it!

Hiya Michelle :cool:

You sound just like me when when I first got banded. I was down 10lbs then up 12lbs. I had zero restriction, and it was rough. For some of us it's not the instant overnight weightloss experience. It will take time to get enough restriction and to hit that sweet spot.

The way I look at it, we are all here because diets DIDN'T work. We have all done the calorie count, the carb count, the eating combos, and eating schedules. None of it worked. So don't be too hard on yourself. Especially in the begining. It's all baby steps. Alot of this is about the restriction. Until you get enough of it, it's really just a diet. So don't worry about being perfect. Just eat to heal your body right now. Eventually the fills will help change how you eat overal.

Take care, and you can do this!

Jenn :tongue2:

I appreciate the kind words Barbie and Jen. It is just so amazing to me that I "think" I am being good about my eating until I reflect back. It was also very good for me to write it all down and look up the calories. I AM glad I got the band, just am excited for that adjustment,lol. I do feel better than this am., was just annoyed umm..at the scale~not getting on again for a couple days....ok,not true...I know myself better than that too. I will be fine, I am strong.

I really think you need to cut the carbs out! Carbs only make you crave more carbs. I'm not banded yet but have been following the band diet and it honestly works eat your protein first, then veggies, fruits and make carbs your last thing if you can even eat it last. I think even though you don't have the restriction you desire that you can do this by assessing your choices and getting your mind focused on what you desire to be healthy and thin!!! As far as the drinks I think you also need to cut that out, it seems to me your leaning on a transfer of addiction. From reading your post it seems like your craving the sweets and it could be because your Carb intake is so high! Wish you the best...

I hear ya Chi girl,thank you for the advice. I am going to try to lower the carb intake. But...I did buy the noodles that claim only 5 carbs per serving,the popsicle from breyers, also was low carb. Where I messed up(as far as carbs are concerned) is THE DRINKING and the shrimp feed, I would have been much better off omitting the bisque,potato salad and shrimp salad and replacing it with 2 doz more steam shrimp which i loooove. The carb thing is why I ate 2 hot dogs w/o the rolls,lol. One more thing though, I am not transferring addictions....I was always a big drinker when me, hubby and our friends go out to our clubs(clubs~not the usual young crowd definition but places where most people are married; all ages; cheap drinks; you know most of the people;dancing to dj music and playing pool). I usually drink 2x the amount I had Saturday. These clubs are VFW's, American Legion's, etc., unfortunately, I have many demons to overcome. Not to pat myself on the back (after I revealed all these demons in black and white) but I am still very proud of myself for quitting smoking. I quit February 25 this year and have actually stuck to it! I was a smoker of over 25 years. It shows me that I CAN control those things around me that I thought I could not. And I do so love sweets. That is why many of my protein drinks are chocolate, and why I so heavily depend on Splenda, I love it! Just hoping they don't find out in a couple of years that it too does something bad to ya,lol. Anyway, the scale still hasn't been kind but again, I will be fine, I am strong.

Of course people read you blog! Thanks for the comment on mine. I have been advised to eat NO bread, pasta, rice or potatoes. I eat plenty of solid protein. I started shopping just for protein to eat to keep the variety in my diet. I get some great single serving grean giant veggies. Have you started putting your food in an online journal that will track your nutrients? I use www.sparkpeople.com That is about all I do on there but it is invaluable to me!!! Every time I eat something I put it in. Don't wait until the end of the day. Even better plan the day ahead and put it in for tomorrow. Good luck keep working. We are all here for you!

I checked out that site, I need all the help I can get! Thanks for the tip.:cool: