ok, so I went for my fill on the 31st and my doc kept telling me that I would feel pressure and would know that it was a good fill level. Well...I couldn't feel any pressure at all and after filling and unfilling about 5 times and drinking no less than 2 quarts of water I felt water logged and finally gave in and said I felt pressure. I think my real stomach was water logged because now I can eat like a horse...and I have been.

Anyway, last week I went to a weight loss doctor thinking I would get the Vitamin B12 shots to help with my energy and such. I came out of that appt with some Topomax and 5-HTP/Carbodopa to help with my appetite along with the Vitamin D, B12, and amino acid shots. So far, I notice nothing. It's only been a week though so I'm holding out hope.

I've lost two pounds since my fill so I guess I should be happy. It just seems so frickin slow. It's weird how I thought it would just melt off. It really is a slow process and I wish they would better prepare you psychologically for it. Maybe they did and I was just so focused on the promise land that I failed to realize that I was going to have to do work after all.

Anyway, shamefully I must admit that I have been horrible. I haven't been drinking my protein, haven't been getting all my vegetables in, and haven't been getting in all my water. I haven't had much energy lately and I think it is the lack of protein.

I need to find my groove where I can settle into a pattern of eating and drinking where I am comfortable with the options and I feel happy doing it. I'm still looking for it...the protein is the hard part for me.

I also broke down this week and ordered a BodyBugg to see if it will serve as additional motivation. If it works for those guys on Biggest Loser then it can't hurt...right!?

I'm realizing that everything I've been ignoring while I obsessed over raising money to have my surgery is coming back to haunt me like my finances which I finegled in order to pay the $10K plus incidental expenses in order to get it done...but it has been totally worth it so far even if it is slow.

My scars are starting to even out and have turned a pretty dark pink like a bruise does right before it turns the corner so I'm pretty excited about that.

I started at a size 22/24 - leaning toward the 24 and I am now comfortably in a size 20 jean and a 18/20 top. I tried to squeeze into an 18 jean last night and I have about 5 more inches to lose on stomach/hips before that is possible but when it happens that will be the smallest I can remember being in terms of an actual size. I think the corresponding weight was 222 and I was 12 years old. Sad...

Anyway, I am starting over on Monday with my walking, BodyBugg in hand, protein shakes in the fridge, a plan for breakfast (that's my downfall), and something for energy. Suggestions anyone??

Until next time...

Hi Cassy. This is my first attempt to post anything ever in my sheltered life. I just signed up a few minutes ago. I would like to offer one suggestion and ask a question of you. Did the lapband decrease or stop your hunger? suggestion: After trying everyghing else, I found recently that biking is tolerable exercise for me. Been going about 6 weeks or so and by balance and strength are much much better. Hope it helps you too. L.Gordon