I have a blog I dedicated to my journey toward the weight loss surgery on blogspot called Fat Frog Diary but this one will no doubt be more honest, in a weird sort of way.

That's the problem with my job as a published author. My fans expect me to be witty and confident all the time. Never mind that I'm human and have fears, pains, and illnesses. Somehow, Lena Austin the writer must transcend all that. :angry_smile:

The image I chose for my profile is what I looked like when I was near my goal weight when I was in my early 30's. I want to look similar to that again, even if my hair is now short and graying. Miss Clairol and I have been old friends, so that can be solved. :cursing:

Where am I in this journey? Somewhere between the circus poodle still jumping through hoops (Arf!) and the dysfunctional machine laying on the gurney for repairs.

I saw the shrink yesterday. Nice woman. That marks the end of my visiting specialists. My appointment with the surgeon for a group session is next week. If I understand the process (doubtful) then they'll submit the packet detailing how my weight affects my health for final approval from my insurance. This will be the third approval from the insurance. I have visions of some bean counter at the insurance office typing up a fax saying, "Yes, I'm sure!! Geez, you're worse than my computer!"

Just like HysterSisters, everyone tells me the waiting is the worst part. I don't think it's the waiting so much as the long time span from decision to doing it.

This is especially true since I learned how few daily carbs I was allowed, and that I needed to start that diet immediately. The fact that it would be a minimum of three months before I saw the inside of the hospital made no sense to me.

I want to grab someone by the collar and say, "Look! I have family members who do not need to reduce their livers and they are complaining bitterly over the sudden lack of breads, rices, and pastas they need for their physically demanding lives. Unless you're willing to contribute to my budget so I can cook two meals for dinner, we have a conflict."

Take this month, November. Please, take this month, and while you're at it take December too. You see, not only do I have the diet minefield of the holidays, but also a slew of family birthdays. All of these family members want cake and ice cream for their celebrations. (sigh) Try telling your mother "No" when she asks you to make use of that cake decorating class you took to create her the spectacular birthday cake she rarely gets because she was unlucky enough to be born on Christmas Eve.

I'm doomed.