Okay, so I am scheduled on the 28th to have my final psych eval. After that they should make my appt with the surgeon and I should have some idea of when they will do my surgery. I am hoping for before Thanksgiving so I can have an excuse to go somewhere else for Thanksgiving. It will be very difficult to be so close to the holidays and having everyone constantly eyeing me and what I'm eating, but I want to be on my way to a new me before the new year starts. I want this years resolution to be about something fun and not about my health or losing weight.. that will already be in the works.

I haven't been great about my eating habits lately but haven't gone too crazy. The back pain I was having is gone so I need to get back to excercising. I definately want to go to the pool this week, wish I could go in the early morning but have to get the kids ready for school.

Married life had been difficult and I don't know what to do about it. I'm not totally blameless, and not feeling great about my appearance at the moment isn't helping. I'm feeling a little lonely I guess. I don't know what it is that I need right now, but hope to figure it out. I think we may need to talk with someone and get some direction. Our money issues are getting a little better, but with Christmas coming we really need to stay focused and not stray on the goal. The kids have only mentioned a couple of things that they want and I think they deserve them.

I am trying not to get too excited about anything right now and just take everything one day at a time. A part of me still wishes my health didn't come to this, but with my leg issues and joint pain, and lack of 5 hours free time a day for the gym there just is no other way, and I want to live!!