well hello again

today I'm going to address my experiences with Power Burping and

Sliming...

nothing is worse than eating too fast or

not chewing good enough..

set the fork down and let the bite hit

the bottom.. SLOWLY take your bites

and CHEW CHEW CHEW like there is no tomorrow

anything other than that you get to

experience sheer agony of feeling like

a gorilla is dancing on your chest

and tennis balls are stuck in your throat

threating to choke the very life out of

you

it just ain't right

no not right at all

and yes it's MY fault

not doing what I was told

going without my meals like I've been

instructed and then eating too fast

because by that time I am so hungry

I'm not chewing well and WAY too

fast

and I pay ho boy do I pay

first the gorilla dance

then the tennis balls

and then the rabid foaming of Mr.

Bubble coming out to play

and no they are not nice bubbles

they are the most devious and wicked

bubbles

that makes you look flat out like a rabid

dog

and I think the Tidy Bowl Man is in love

with me

I sure know I've hooked up with him a

LOT

oh and let's not forget the delightful

power burps where it seems all you have to do is open your mouth and there she

flys

forth on strings of the really fun stuff

the slime

nothing can break that string of slime

DO NOT try to cut it off with your hand

and OMG what ever you do

don't just let it hang

cause it's like elastic and there's nothing like the horror

of did that just pop back from the.....

you'll be not only grossed out

but it really hangs on

long stringy icky springy slime

if you feel it coming on GRAB A TOWEL

and quick

trust me you'll need it

gas-x for me is a joke and Tums yea

right I'm in the bathroom PBing and

sliming and I'm gonna chew and swallow

nasty berry and other gross flavors of Tums

I think not

it makes it horrifically worse

but you know what

If I would just comply with what I know

to do

I wouldn't be having most these issues

don't get me wrong I did see how far I could push the envelope

it's amazing just how stuck envelopes can become

HUGE MISTAKE on my part

however I am going to ask my Dr to put

me on some kind of gas pill

wait make that ANTI-gas pills

but you know what

it's ALL worth it

my PB affair with the Tidy Bowl Man

the dancing gorillas

the tennis balls

the slime

ever see Alien?

yea that kind of slime but slimier

ICK huh

oh and don't worry

it'll happen and you'll survive

I just wish that ONCE

I could foam like a rabid dog at my

in-laws table

I have such a twisted sense of humor

I know

but that would be some funny shooshoo

just the sheer horror on their faces

would be so.... mischievously delightful

welp it's 10am and I need to goto bed

now

sweet dreams

and yes it truly is worth it ALL

one day my "sweet spot" will be found

won't solve everything

but it sure will help a LOT

I just need to behave and do right by

me,myself and I

night

LOL this is awesome. i have not been banded but i am hopeful that i can experience this!! I respond very well to crap like this and i can SO lose weight if i have to deal with this!!!

Funny - you are miserable as all heck and I can't WAIT to be as miserable as you!

Chickie I flat fell out laffin when I read your reply

just keep a sense of humor about it

and you've got it made

Pbs, slime and all

Oh and before you go in the night before

drink a LOT of water before your NPO

just read my back blogs and you'll know why

have a great weekend