May 9, 2006
I am so down today, I am so sick of being in pain. And I just wish oh how I wish I could just be a normal bandster. I read all thoes wonderful threads about great news and I cant help but feel jealous and that is unlike me at all. I think I will stop reading so much on here and just write in my Journal.
I talked to a lawyer, just to talk to see if there is anything I can do, not that i would really do anything I was just curious and wanted to see. But he thinks I dont have much, he said that the Lapband is a high complications rate so its all over looked because I should have known that. I guess poor patient care is part of that. Yeah I might not be totally damaged by this but still.... Oh well its okay I really just wanted to see any how.
Gosh it just hurts so bad inside everytime I think of how much I want to be normal... a normal bandster.. to have posts like "I lost 100pounds" or "I went down 2 more sizes" UGH I hate this so much... I always think what if I just had called one other Dr. first. what if.... what if.... what if.... I cant live like this. :think
I cant sleep, I have to take 2-3 pain pills before bed... my right side is starting to hurt so bad from sleeping on it so much. My wound burns all night like a sunburn that is being rubbed by a brilo pad. My husband had to stay home from work yesterday to clean the house because I cant. I cant take a normal shower, or a bath... I have to sit there making sure the water doesnt touch my stomach.
Sometimes I think I wish I never got this band at all. :cry
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
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