9/12/08

:thumbup:

I had my surgery on August 12, 2008 at 9:30a.m. I was being brought in to the recovery room at10:33a.m by the surgeon.

When I got to the hospital I remember thinking maybe I wasn’t going to go through with it… that I would change my mind at the very last second. I thought about telling Ray to turn around and let’s go back home… it’s still early, I’ll make breakfast when we get home.

After I got undressed and put on the hospital robes, I was waiting for the anesthesiologist to come in and speak with me. He asked me several questions regarding my history and the anxiety I was feeling at that moment. He clearly seen I was afraid and had tears in my eyes. He put the IV in my left had – it hurt like hell. It was not the first time I had an IV in me but something felt horribly wrong. The blood shot across the room in a deep purple color. He said he would see me in a little bit leaving me and Ray in the room.

I turned to Ray now with tears on my face hoping he would say that he was going to bring me back home, but he just smiled and put his arms around me. He told me it would be ok and he would be waiting to see me when I get out while he wiped the tears off my face.

A man names Isaac came into the waiting room and asked me to stand up. He took my IV pack in one hand and my hand in his other and told me to follow. Ray walking with me in my wake as we walked down the brightly lit hall. As we rounded the corner I first seen the sign that read “Patients ONLY”

Isaac turned to Ray and said “You can have a seat over there and Dr. Castro will come and talk to you when she is ready for a visitor.” Nervous and slightly trembling I hugged and kissed Ray so tight. “I’ll see you in a little while baby, relax your going to be fine.” He said as he kissed my lips and my nose as he stepped away slowly. He watched me walk into the double doors. As I followed Isaac down another hall I was shivering. “Really cold in here but we’ll give you a nice warm blanket when we get in the room.” He said. As we walked into the operating room the lights were dim and there were several people along the back wall lining up silvery trays and across the room there were 3 Doctors talking amongst themselves in green robes. Isaac helped me over to the table and said for me to have a seat. I heard from behind me a clash of the silver trays; I turned to see they were being loaded with instruments. I stood up fast and Isaac put his arms around me and kept telling me to calm down and to relax. He helped me fix my robes so they wouldn’t have a problem after I was sleeping. He clamed me down enough to get me to lie down on the table. I lifted my head to see 10 new faces coming closer to me.

I heard the sound of the door open and I seen the man of the hour, the one who would be working on me, and then it came over me – this is the man who holds my life in his hands until I wake up. Dr. Castro touched the top of my hand and said. “Hello Nancy, I heard you are a little worried. You’re going to be just fine so please relax.” I put my head back on the small pillow and tried to relax, taking deep breathes and thinking about Ray, how much I love him and the last time he kissed me just outside the operating room door. Then I thought about my niece, and how much I love her and how she is my shinning star. I thought about the last time I was with her playing with her. Ray, Vivian and I were on the beach playing in cool sand just 2 days before watching the fire works at night. I thought about never seeing either one of them again. I felt the tears pouring down the sides of my face while I laid there with my eyes closed.

I opened my eyes to look around and the anesthesiologist was now standing next to me and he said ok Nancy we are just about ready, are you ready? I nodded my head because I know I would have never been brave enough to speak the words yes. He came closer to me and put the oxygen mask over my nose and mouth. I looked right into his eyes with a fear I never felt for myself before. I shook my head to the left to get the mask off, he moved it away and said what’s wrong? I just needed to ask him a question. “Will I dream?” He smiled and shook his head no, and he put the mask back over my face. A minute later there was a lot of noise from people moving around and the sound of metal was clinging ever closer. I felt my heart beating and tried to remain calm. Isaac was now by my side again. He leaned close to my ear and whispered to me “ We are about to begin, you will be fine and when you wake up it will all be over and you can start working on your new life. You’re going to be even more beautiful than you are now. Sweet dreams Nancy.” As he lifted up I looked into his piercing blue eyes, and then felt mine close.

The next thing I remember was hearing a low beeping noise, and then the sound of Dr. Castro’s voice coming from the lower right hand side of my body. “1-2-3.” I felt myself being lifted as if floating to a soft pillow like surface. “Excellent work everyone.” He finished off. I tried to open my eyes but everything was black, I could hardly make out the black silhouettes of everyone around me. “Dr. Castro is it in me?” I mumbled out. “Yes, your all done now sweetheart. You’re going to be fine.” I felt him touch the top part of my head gently.

The next time I opened my eyes I was being wheeled into the recovery room, the nurse outside the door said “How are you feeling darling?” with a southern accent. “I want Ray.” Was all I could say because of a pain I felt down my throat, they must have had the breathing tube down there. The nurse smiled and helped Castro push my bed into a spot in the recovery room. “I’ll be back to check on you in just a little while, rest for now, I’ll get your husband.” I closed my eyes and the next time they opened because I felt someone kissing my lips. I opened my eyes to see Ray standing there smiling at me. “Hi baby girl, I told you everything would be ok.”

The night in the recovery room was possibly the longest night of my life. But no matter how much it hurt or how difficult is was I would do it over again in a heartbeat if I had to.

The surgeon was done working on me in 40 minutes. I was told I had a reaction to the antibiotics and it took them 10 to 15 minutes to counter act the reaction. This was the only complication that had no side effect on me.

It’s been exactly 1 month since my Lab-band and I feel terrific.

you need to be a writer...i have tears streaming down my face...that was the most beautiful piece of work i've read in a long time....i really felt moved by your writing. Good job on feeling great and I hope it continues like that. Great that you had support....