First blog ever...how cool is that?!

Hmmmm, this is not meant to scare anyone off of WLS but I am going to write what I am going through and it is mainly meant for my own theraputic purposes. If someone reads it and it helps them along the way, then wonderful. If it seriously disturbs someone, at least I can not get sued for it! HA! :thumbup: By the way, it i my blog so if there is a typo, deal with it.

So it has been coming on 6 months now that I have not had a cigarette. The scales show it too. On Sunday I was up to 212.5 (after being down to 175 in February). I decided (again) that was IT. Then i eally set my min to it again yesterday. I cried all day yesterday and then I really realized I needed to forgive myself. I feel SO fat. I feel fatter now than when I weighed 300 pounds. Weird but true. I was feeling like I had gained it all back. Then I realized that I needed to remind myself that I have FAR from gained it all back....soooooo I decided to put on my hoochie mama shorts I bought for our violet trip in May and a sports bra. I stood there and looked at myself in the mirror and then BAM...it hit me (bam not Pam, lol). I still look good. I mean, not great, but not horrible. I would have never worn that around the house before but here I am now, 30 or so pounds up from where I was and I still look OK. So, now I am thinking to myself..."omg, I can still win this thing!". VOILA...here I am with my "new attitude 101" class going on! WOOT This morning I was down o 209!

There IS light at the end of the tunnel...I CAN still finish this thing, AND stay a non smoker. I can do this. My new phrase is, "failure is no accident, neither is success". I control me. I control what I stick in my mouth. When I fall down, I pick myself up (with the help of some special violet friends). I kow I have probably said all of this before but better to say it too much than to never say it at all, right? I am glad that I put on some skinny clothes and reminded myself that I am not back where I was at the very beginning. So now, I have forgiven myself. I am just going to try to convince myself (for the time being) that this is a new journey I am beginning. That this is the first time I have tried to get to onederland. This time it will make it that much more sweet for me. This time it will have new meaning to me because I know how easily it can be lost again!

Can I get an AMEN?!

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love seeing you not be so hard on yourself again. You mention the issue of not smoking, you did not mention the double move in what 6 months? The quitting your job after 10+ years........and the impact that had on your life, both emotionally and financially. ALL that causes stress! And you dealt with it, and you did not smoke, and you did not give up. You gained 30 pounds! The same 30 you probably would have gained without a band---so now you have a way to help get it off again. And your DH has his new job, and Macy is settling in at school-----it is time for some TRACY time!!!

We may have to up our cell phone plans and chat as we walk in totally different areas of the country!!!

SOOOOOO proud of your new found faith in YOU!!!

Love ya girl!

Kat

AMEN

Happy New Minute!! You always have a chance to start over.

Go get um!!