Testing tomorrow
Sometimes I feel like I am in some sort of weird race. Really a marathon. There is so much prep work before having surgery, it gets to be a little overwhelming.
Tomorrow I go for an upper GI and GB ultrasound. After that appointment, I will see Dr. Steinberg and get a date. I have been on the forum reading daily and it seems as though most physicians put you on a diet. A liquid diet. Okay!
I obviously have food issues and so I am going to be challenged if I am placed on a diet. It seems as though the diet is to prep for surgery (attempt to make the liver less fatty). But I also see it as an oppertunity, albiet challenging, to start my new more healthy life style. There are so many unknowns. 2 weeks out of your life may not sound like much, but for me, a liquid diet for 2 weeks sounds impossible. I must focus on this as an oppertunity to change my eating habits. I need to become more aware of not only when I eat, but why.
I have read some blogs in which people are greiving the loss of their previous relationship with food. It seems as though there is some emotional pain with it. I can understand. Food is always there for me. If I am happy, sad, angry, celebatory, bored, enthused, food has always been there.
Things are going to be different. My relationship with food needs to change from an emotional buddy to a tool. A tool which gives me energy to live to breathe...energy to develop other realtionships.
I am an introvert. This entire experience, blogging, posting my pictures online, is so different for me. I am not comfortable with people looking at me, knowing who I am and how I am feeling. If someone is actually reading this, , that scares me. However, I think it is therapeutic for me to do this. I need to become more open with myself and others.
So, tomorrow, I will get closer to the finish line. I will have my testing done, get a date and possibly a 2-week diet. "sigh". I will write more tomorrow after the testing. I am feeling pretty good right about now.:smile:
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