I am so anxious. As I have said before, I hate waiting. At least this week is going by quick since we had the holiday. This weekend I will get a major thing out of the way and that is the internist surgery clearance. I will also get my last bit of labs done. I should probably call the nurse to see if they want me to do any other labs because I have a feeling that I will have low Iron and Vitamin D still. I have been taking pills but they will probably want me to get an iron infusion. I hear those are dreadful.

I want to go buy cookies downstairs right now. I smelled them baking during lunch. I have resisted only because I don’t have very much money. I hate that I want them so much. I hope I have the resistance to not buy them post op. I know I won’t cheat during the liquid or mushy stages because I know how important it is for my body to heal. But later when I am healed and can eat solids I really hope that I am committed. I think that if I see results that I will be. What worries me is that my co-workers that got the band aren’t doing so great. They drink high calorie drinks and eat cookies. So they are both at a plateau. I am just stuck in the mindset of… I can’t have it anymore in a month so I might as well eat it now. I know that “can’t” isn’t true but hopefully I just won’t eat those bad things.

It is kind of weird that people may read this. I used to journal a lot when I was younger. I wrote everything going on in my mind and didn’t leave anything out so I was very protective of it. I would have died if anyone read it. Maybe I am more open since this is sort of anonymous. I suppose I also won’t write too much about my personal life or depressing things. I am so random though that I know I have written about the same things a few times. I probably sound like a broken record. I try to stick to weight loss stuff and the lapbandtalk website since that is where this blog is. Right now though I am jabbering on because I am at work and kind of bored.