Seeing him again for the first time
This weekend I am flying to Washington, DC, to spend a long weekend with a man with whom I have had a long distance semi-romance for over 2 and a half years. It's been just over 2 years since we have seen each other face to face, but to hear us talk you would think we hung out every weekend.
He knows everything I have done, gone through, and my progress. I haven't sent photos of me because I want him to be pleasantly surprised, and he has been fine with that.
So why the hell am I so nervous?
I feel more nervous than the first time we spent a weekend together. I am infinitely more confident in how I look, how I feel, and how I manage my lifestyle. I feel great that I have inspired him (not obese, but a little overweight) to hit the gym more and want to move more.
He's not solely a BBW guy (aka "chubby-chaser") so I am not worried that I have lost too much weight. I am not worried about running around the Capitol and not being able to keep up. I am not worried about food or drink or anything related.
He liked me then, he still likes me... so why the f--k am I having this little mental crisis? I haven't changed, we talk all the time, there are no surprises save for smaller clothes and a few bones that are more prominent now.
It's making me nuts (can you tell?) that I am worried about this weekend. All things considered, I should be than calm, more than happy. Instead...
Ugh.
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