Well I passed the psych eval and can move on to the see the nutritionist. I am going to follow through with seeing a Congnitive Behavioral Therapist because the nutr. said it could only benefit my outcome. It was good to talk through my issues, and I even had a realization about being a grazer at social functions. If I'm not busy hosting I get uncomfortable, especially about my appearance and so I continue to graze.. arghhh I put it to the test yesterday at a family gathering. It was a great time and after eating the regular meal I moved away from the food and made a point to not go near it again. I still ate more then I needed to, but not to a point of feeling sick. I didn't drink at all either!! That isn't so much of an issue anyways, but would have taken my calorie intake way over the limit.

I also attended a support group afterwards and was very enlightened and humbled by the people in it. I had my first real twinge of fear of how I will be able to handle it when I have those days when food just won't go down, or when you are sick to death of protein shakes. The overall thing was that even though there were some really miserable days they all lost weight and are still pushing forward. I will really have to put my faith completely in my doctors hands when he makes the decision of what size band he uses and that I am ready for the surgery when the day comes..

I meet with the nutritionist on the 20th, and need to keep a journal of all my food intake and emotions for 8 days.. It is a really great tool because it makes you have to think about the reasons why you are eating and being accountable for the choices.

I still have some family members that I have not discussed this with, and don't know if I will until later. My 7 siblings and I are getting together in 2 months so I am sure the subject will come up at some point. I haven't told my inlaws either and don't plan to until I have to. They can be quite judgemental at times and I don't need any negative energy right now. I am hoping everyone will be supportive when it comes down to it and appreciate the fact that I am trying to do the best thing for my health, and that I am not weak or lazy.

I was on my feet for most of the day Friday and Saturday and had to resort to using some aleve because of the joint pain,, just another reminder of how much I need to do this in order to have a better life..